You’ve Never Read Your Dog’s Horoscope?! Now’s Your Chance!

You’ve Never Read Your Dog’s Horoscope?! Now’s Your Chance!

Find out what the stars have to say about your dog.

By Stacy Lenz

There are certain moments in the Real Housewives canon that are iconic; possibly none more so than legendary The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills dinner party with Allison Dubois. That phrase spoken to Kyle Richards (“Your husband will never emotionally fulfill you, so know that”) still gives us a chill to this very day. And, while we can’t tell you when you will die (which is for the best, yikes, Allison, that was too much), we can tell you what the zodiac has to say about your pet dog.

Based on your dog’s birthday, let's see what their star sign has to say about his or her personality. If you, like us, have a birthday-unknown rescue dog, use your pup’s Gotcha Day for horoscope purposes OR read all the horoscopes and see which suits your pupper best and then pick them a new birthday from there — it's a dog horoscope, not an exact science. (And, regardless of what the zodiac says about your dog, we know that they will emotionally fulfill you.)

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Can’t teach an old dog new tricks? This saying was not written about Gemini dogs. They learn quickly and love to win approval by showing off new tricks and skills. Gemini pooches are affectionate and love to be sociable. On the flip side, twin pooches don’t like to be left alone and often get restless unsupervised. This means someone is going to chew your favorite shoes as soon as you leave for work.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

There is no dog more loyal than a Cancer. They are very attached to their people and love for everyone to be present in the same room. Cancer dogs will guard their family and “make the rounds” in the house, checking to make sure that everyone is happy and accounted for. Their family devotion also makes them great at “sit,” “stay” and “lay down,” eager to do whatever it takes for their owners.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

All hail, King Leo Pupper! These funny little Leo dogs love to be treated like royalty, but it’s not being spoiled. No, Leo dogs are adorable and difficult to resist, making it impossible not to want to dote on them. Leo dogs are clever and will make you laugh, maybe by trying to stick their whole head into the potato chip bag. Always needing to be occupied, a Leo pup will excel at dog puzzles as a good outlet for that canine creativity.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

A Virgo dog loves the great outdoors, especially if you have a backyard. Virgo puppers will literally spend hours chasing squirrels and protecting their territory. Always watchful, they will act as a guard dog, mainly barking at the neighbor’s cat if it gets too close. On walks, a Virgo pooch is a serious sniffer, carefully analyzing every scent the neighborhood has to offer and greeting all of the other dogs they encounter.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

All a Libra dog wants to hear is “Good dog!” Libras are the most cooperative and diplomatic of zodiac pooches, which means that in any situation a Libra dog will submit and show you their belly. But it’s not all surrender with Libra pups, these happy, people-loving Scales are good at sharing and tend not to be food aggressive— they rarely mind if another dog scarfs up their treat.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

A Scorpio pup is assertive, determined and decisive — your little scorpion will search until they find the truth. Sadly for you, this means that they will beg and bark at you through every mealtime, demanding both your attention and foodstuffs. A Scorpio dog loves to express their emotions and it’s not always manifested by means of a bork-bork-bork, they are true friends that are also serious cuddle partners.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

Voted most likely to chase their tails — Sagittarius pooches! A Sagittarius dog is very energetic and prone to fits of the zoomies well after puppyhood. A lover of the outdoors, they are always trying to hop over the backyard fence (or dig under it) and pull a little too hard on their leashes every single walk. They love to explore and roam and a trip to the dog park is their greatest treasure.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

Not every dog can balance a treat on their nose without trying to instantly wolf it down, but a Capricorn dog can. These disciplined dogs want to make their owner proud and excel at tricks that require self-control and good obedience. These little goats hate to disappoint, don’t ever try to dog shame a Capricorn pooch, the guilt will be too much. Focus on positive reinforcement and your pup will be the first in their class at obedience school.

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)

An Aquarius dog can go from life of the party to putting themselves to bed. Social but independent, these puppers know what they want to do and when, even if it does hurt your feelings when they up and walk away from you mid-pet. A little bit aloof, you may find your Aquarius dog snoozing in some truly random spots, but the second you walk near their leash, they have turned into a completely different dog, ready to take on the world.

Pisces (February 19 to March 20)

A Pisces pup is always wagging their tail. They are the happiest dogs of all the zodiac signs. A little timid at first meeting, a Pisces tail will never lie, slightly down, but always giving a little cautious wag, trusting that the person they are meeting will be a new friend. Pisces dogs are very intuitive and in addition to being by your side on your best days, they will lay by your feet and provide a furry shoulder to cry on at your worst.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Aries pooches love tug-of-war. Determined and active, an Aries dog will clamp down on the rope and put all of their aggression to good use, tugging with all their heart. The have an independent spirit that may manifest as fits of barking at new people, but that is just your Aries mutt showing their desire to be a natural born leader and protect the family.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

A Taurus dog loves to be loved and is always in search of scratches, pets and belly rubs. Oh, you stopped? A Taurus dog will even prod you with a paw to get that belly rub going again. In return for physical affection, a Taurus dog will be hopelessly devoted to you, trying to sleep in bed with you every night. Their stubborn side comes out when no matter how many times you say, “No! Down, Taurus!” they keep trying to jump back in bed.

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