How Do You Trust a Former Cheater at His Bachelor Party?

How Do You Trust a Former Cheater at His Bachelor Party?

Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright are still in therapy dealing with Jax's past cheating. 

By Marianne Garvey
Jax Taylor's first bachelor party

Jax Taylor just had the first of two bachelor parties: The first party took place at a hotel and included the hashtag (#jaxdiditwright), fake "boobies everywhere," and well, a sign to make most males break out. It read "same vagina forever." 

Jax shared all the festivities in his Instagram Stories (and on Twitter).  "I got about 40 guys waiting for me at this hotel. I have no idea what to expect, but it's going to be a good time. I just want to say my friends are f--king amazing," the Vanderpump Rules SURver said. "I got 40 of the most amazing guys showing up today and I love you all very much. Now that being said, I know how much they love to f--k with me so I'm in a lot of trouble."

No matter how much fun your guy has at his bachelor party, you really shouldn't have to wonder if he crossed a line, right? But what if there have been known cheating instances in the past? And while Lisa Vanderpump says Jax really has changed, how can Brittany Cartwright trust he'll behave at his wild pre-wedding bashes?

Turns out, bachelor party anxiety is a real thing. 

“One-third of all grooms-to-be cheat at their bachelor parties,” reports Men’s Health, which also found “92 percent of bachelor party attendees lie about their cheating for the duration of their marriages.”

The top excuse was “I was drunk and things got out of control," which earned 76 percent of the vote. Following that one, was “cold feet” about the wedding. 

New York City-based therapist Liz Lasky told Personal Space, "Trust is not a given." It's earned. 

"It's also not a laundry list of past transgressions. Trust is something that both partners have to work together to build. It's ultimately an agreement moving forward," she added. "We all have different comfort levels around trust. Some people, because of previous trauma, upbringing or history, may be able to tolerate low levels of trust. Trust is also like an elastic band — it expands and contracts. 

"Bachelor parties are notorious for pushing the envelope in terms of trust between partners. Noticing how you feel, as the bachelor and as the partner, is crucial. This awareness will help each of them be able to negotiate what they will or will not feel comfortable with in the present and future. Then, they can make choices and decisions based on these feelings," she concluded.

The Knot offers advice on how to deal with the inevitable. One, see if he can plan a nice guys adventure weekend instead of going to a strip club or doing something that will upset you. “Communicate your limits,” The Knot said. “Be open about your feelings. This doesn't mean nag him endlessly; it means tell him what makes you uncomfortable.”

“Do not, we repeat, do not sit at home watching the clock and wondering what he's doing,” it continued. “Make plans of your own, get out of the house, and go have a good time! Even if you aren't up for going out to a club, surely you can muster the energy to go to the movies with a friend or two. The scenarios you come up with in your head are most likely a thousand times more lurid than anything that's actually going on — and if you've followed our advice so far, you should be able to feel okay about things anyway. Remember, there might be a lot of girls out there, but you are the one he wants to marry.”

And remember, guys, your bachelor party is not an excuse to behave badly. It's not a free pass. In the end you have to be honest, and if you cheat, you're probably not ready to get married, after all.

Credit: Jax Taylor/Twitter

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