Kristen Doute Is Right About "Himpathy" — Why Do Men Get Away with So Many Mistakes?

Kristen Doute Is Right About "Himpathy" — Why Do Men Get Away with So Many Mistakes?

Why is Kristen Doute still getting crap for things she did five years ago, but Jax Taylor isn't?

By Marianne Garvey
Kristen Doute

Imagine if Tom Schwartz threw a drink on someone... oh he did, remember? Twice. But you probably don't. Because he's Schwartzy and he's adorable and that eclipses everything.

But when Kristen Doute tosses a drink on someone, she's crazy Kristen for the rest of her life.

If she stole sunglasses, she'd be locked up for life. Jax Taylor? Aw, he was just trying to steal a present while on vacation in Hawaii. He's all better now.

James Kennedy may have cheated. Tom Sandoval may have cheated. Jax admittedly cheats. When Kristen cheats? It comes up again and again, even this week on Vanderpump Rules.

What's with the double standard?

According to The Chronicle, it was Cornell philosophy professor Kate Manne who coined the term “himpathy,” which she has defined as “the inappropriate and disproportionate sympathy powerful men often enjoy in cases of sexual assault, intimate partner violence, homicide and other misogynistic behavior.”

She further described it as “an illness within society that tilts people, regardless of gender, toward the powerful man.”

Another report talks about the concept, saying, "Accused men, especially those with privilege, are broadly treated with deference by the media and the public, and if they’re brought to court are given lenient sentences. 

"This is so common as to be a given for men in power. Harvey Weinstein is a case in point. Wielding control over the film careers of many and trading on his artistic reputation, he escaped unscathed for decades. Excuses are abundantly generated: alcohol, flirtation taken too far, or provocation on the part of the victim. Himpathy builds on the idea that sexual predators and rapists are creepy monsters, not 'golden boys.' Correspondingly, the women in these situations are characterized as hysterical, misguided, or liars who misread the intentions of their attackers."

How about we stop calling Kristen "crazy" (whether it's for her sage waving or falling over ottomans or whatever she gets up to)? As Harper's Bazaar says, "For so long, when women were upset or angry or scared, it was brushed off. We were told we were crazy, or hysterical, or difficult, or otherwise didn’t have emotions worth taking seriously ... The notion that women who are not compliant are insane is one that’s been used to silence women for generations.

For all of history, the man’s word has been gospel. A woman’s word has been gossip."

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