Consider this: If you have to work on a long-term project with someone at work and need to choose between a person who comes across as funny and kind and another who's rude and unfriendly, who would you rather work with? Even if the rude and unfriendly person is also highly competent, would you still want to spend a significant amount of time with that person? And who are you more willing to help out (or cut a little slack)... someone mean or someone nice?
While we're sure there are situations where you'd probably suck it up and stick it out with someone you don't personally care for, what about complete strangers? And how do you think your demeanor affects how complete strangers see you?
We're not saying that being a friendly person lets you get away with everything — or that you should use niceness to manipulate others — but there’s just something about a good attitude being contagious.
Think about Tom Schwartz. As everyone agrees, he wasn’t exactly cut out for bartending. But opening a L.A. hotspot with his friend Tom Sandoval essentially gave him a whole new sense of self and confidence. As his wife, Katie, explained in the Vanderpump Rules After Show clip above, he takes his role at Tom Tom very seriously, and it’s made her even more attracted to him. “It’s kind of adorable and it’s charming that he is so humble [and] self deprecating,” Katie said.
Even Lisa Vanderpump is charmed by his attitude. “He’s got this likability factor. I just think he’s such a good, lovely, funny, kind person and I love seeing him. When he walks into Tom Tom, he’s got this sense that this is something tangible.”
People inherently enjoy being around other people who are nice, friendly and happy. And, even if Tom Schwartz isn’t your cup of tea, think about those words Lisa said when you’re going about your daily lives. If you strive to be good and lovely and funny and kind, chances are you’re going to be much happier, and make others much happier than if you aren’t aware of how your attitude affects others.
Here’s how to try it yourself: The next time you need someone to do something for you or you’re entering a meeting, try to approach the situation (even if it’s an unpleasant one) with a positive attitude first. Remember common courtesy before making requests — offer a sincere 'hello, how are you?' (and care about the response), and always say "thank you" afterward, even if you don’t get the outcome you want.
And if you’re on the phone, try this technique: Smile while you’re talking. Yes, it sounds silly (but don’t worry, the person on the other end can’t see you). You’ll realize if you test this out now, wherever you are, that if you say the same words with a grin on your face versus without that, no matter what words you're saying, you'll naturally sound more pleasant when you're speaking through a smile.
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