Hello, potential blog readers and welcome to a little bit of my perspective -- and hopefully a source of reason and calm amongst all of the ridiculousness. I'll get right into it.
A lot has happened since that sad lonely pink balloon drifted into the trees of SUR's garden. I must quickly address something I said in my first interview clip of the show, because it comes across a little odd. I was asked if Tom and I had a specific day that we became a couple. We don't. We progressed from friends to something more over a period of time during winter of last year. We had both had an extremely trying year, including the very sudden and unexpected loss of my dad, and through being there for each other as friends I think something just eventually clicked. It took me quite a while to be comfortable with the idea because, among other things, I knew it would be played out in a public forum. When it comes down to it, our story is ours alone and that is sacred to me.
Can we address how pretty Scheana and Katie are? Scheana has the hair of a goddess and Katie's cheekbones are giving me life through my television screen. Also, does Lisa always do construction in six-inch stilettos? Is she wearing insoles? If her feet hurt, would even she tell anyone? Is she human? Trouser steak or trouser snake? These are important questions. My apologies to Robert Earl. I'll get that out of the way. Not that I was a part of any mayhem, but it was a Mixology fiasco nonetheless.
Now for the dumbest subject that I'm sure I will have to continually address. I won't name names, because that is not polite, but who are these weirdos talking to Scheana about Tom and I who don't even know us?
My biggest concern watching the conversation I had with Scheana at her apartment was the stupid piece of hair falling in my face. A conversation between Crazy #1 and Crazy #2 does not "hard proof" make. "Texts to prove it"? I saw those texts months prior and I have more scandalous sounding conversations with my manager. "Selfies"? You mean one photo on a scooter at a gas station that was taken by Schwartz and sent to multiple people? Someone is using the "say something a bunch of times" method of trying to make something true. I have a genius level IQ and I evaluate all situations scientifically and logically. If I'm not worried about it, its not something to worry about. I'm the farthest thing from dumb you've ever met. I'm not incredibly confident about all of myself, but that is something that is just a fact. In addition, for those who don't know, Scheana has been one of the most loyal and incredible friends I have had in my life. To say "typical Scheana" and that she's making this about herself because she is upset is so out of this world take a lap around the block jaw-dropping INSANE.
This is the last time I'll say it: I didn't have any sort of extra curricular relationship with Tom. Anyone who repeats that from this point forward has got to be utterly insane or a complete and total moron. Zero respect.
The "InstaFight" was probably the most fun we had all night. I appreciate Stassi's comments about me and I think she has some good points. We agree on a lot of things. However, the biggest difference between her and I is probably that I don't threaten my friends with physical violence to bend their will. The idea that five months in NY and a new haircut means Stassi is mature and a different person now is just silly. I also don't think everyone is in need of such massive change. Some of us are doing just fine.