"This week's Jackhole is the Michigan dad arrested for having his 9-year-old daughter drive him to the gas station at 3am because he was drunk, allegedly. There's footage from the gas station security cameras, including the dad bragging about it. The kid's no Jackhole, though, she's a really great driver. Hey little girl, if you're watching, can you pick me up on the corner of Hudson and Van Dam in like 15 minutes, because I'm a little drunk because I drank tequila tonight and I need a ride home from the Clubhouse. Bring that sweet van too!"