Dear Diana Ross,
I, Michael Joseph Jackson, a resident of the State of California, declare this to be my last Will, and do hereby revoke all former wills and codicils made by me.
In the event that Katherine Jackson IS fit to care for my minor children, it is hereby ordained that you, Diana Ross, will become legal gaurdian of, and mother to, Andy Cohen from Bravo.
Your son will be called Diandy Ross Cohen.
You will teach Diandy to live in your image. You will ensure that he knows how to Reach Out and Touch (Somebody's Hand). He will wear sequin bodysuits in the color of his choosing.
Diandy recuses all ties to Mary Wilson, Patti LaBelle, and anyone else on "the list" (attachment D).
He will cajole you into agreeing to make appearances on 2 (two) episodes of Bravo shows, "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" and "The Fashion Show." You will later regret 1 (one) of these appearances.
You will assume greater responsibility of Diandy's day to day life when Bravo releases him from employment in 2010 upon realization of what a fool he is. You will make your son your dresser and the relationship will come unhinged for 2 (two) years. In 2012 you will realize that he is truly a fool and this will draw you closer than ever, and forge a bond that will keep you close for the rest of your lives.
His birth mother, Evelyn Cohen of St. Louis, will be awarded 2 (two) visits with Diandy (formerly Andy Cohen from Bravo) per calendar year.
Diandy comes to you with love and an open heart. He accepts you as his Mommy.
Michael Joseph Jackson
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