Diff'rent Strokes

Diff'rent Strokes

Andy Cohen's thoughts on Dana Plato.

It feels like the first day of school today, but I have to wonder how this nation will wake up and collectively pull up its bootstraps after last night's NBC dramatization of the "Diff'rent Strokes" story. After 9/11, this is fast becoming the most repeated story in American history. And it is a sad one.

The movie was so weird I don't know where to begin. There is no way that Charlotte Rae can be as much of a ninny as her insane portrayal. The ladyactress is literally playing Charlotte Rae as though she is really Mrs. Garrett and the guy playing Conrad Bain is playing Mr. Drummond as a gay? Where's the real Connie Bain, please? Oh, Connie. I guess that NBC couldn't license the "Strokes" theme song because they were using a soundalike? It happens. Gary Coleman and Betty Bridges (Todd's mother) come off as the only ones with brains, even though darling Betty Bridges loses $4 mill of Todd's money. It happens. Todd Bridges is harrassed by the cops constantly and you wind up cursing the LA cops for harrassing Willis -- who is trying to have it all and is screwing Kimberly throughout the show. The Willis-on-Kimberly sex, by the way, was HAWT!

The big headline comes when Gary's dad hires a (gay guy?) person named Deon to be Gary's friend/assistant and maybe they wind up being boyfriends? And Deon kinda looks and talks like Michael Jackson, fyi. Did we ever think that Gary Coleman was gay before this movie and, more to the point, is he?? Who is Deon? Is there a potential Deon spinoff?? How dare this film end while begging questions! I don't know. The whole thing was really sad for so many reasons, with abuse, drugs, kidney issues, and Mr. Drummond all on the list. The whole thing was actually too sad for me -- and I was looking forward to it! Like I said, it's the first day of school for everybody so we all need to clear our systems of the sad tale of Dana Plato and get on with it today. And that includes Rosie as she has her first day on "The View" and poor Katie is going to have to really forget this whole "Diff'rent Strokes" mess as she starts on the "CBS Evening News." Carry on, everybody.

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