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The Untouchable Smorgasbord

Max reveals why he wasn't chasing the ladies, even after the green light from Bethenny.


The liquor store appearance went so much better than anticipated. We were expecting 40 people and there were close to 400. Unlike the JCC event where I was wandering around like a horny, 14-year-old high school freshman, I was positioned next to Bethenny, making sure the flow of fans getting autographs ran smoothly.

Bethenny issued me a challenge and offered bonus pay if I could score three separate numbers that night. This confused me. At this appearance she encouraged me to chase girls while at last week’s event she disapproved. I guess it depends on the situation, where we are, and what's going on. Again, these are things I was in the process of learning. In my 'guy mind' there is never an inappropriate time to chase girls! But when you join Team Skinnygirl Margarita there is little to no girl-chasing time, and when there is, you need to be efficient. I wasn’t sure if Bethenny was testing me to see if I had any game or to see if I had the balls to put my girl-chasing objectives before my job once again! There were, after all, plenty of great looking girls at this event ... cougars, MILFS, college girls, you name it, and I would have loved to approach some of them! But in the back of my mind, I already screwed up in a similar situation and did not want to be a repeat offender.

Even though Bethenny gave me the green light to swing away that evening, I could see her chomping my face off for not being focused and doing what I was there to do. She ragged on me for passing up the easy opportunity to get a number, but I wanted to show her I was there to work for her, not do my own thing like last time.

Bethenny, the slick pickup artist she is, decided to show me exactly how I should have went about scoring numbers. For some reason, however, there was a huge obstacle she was forgetting. The obstacle: BETHENNY FRANKEL. My impression of Bethenny was the result of what I thought to be the most likely outcome of doing something I got in trouble for last week. I thought my Bethenny rendition was pretty spot-on, and the reassurance from Julie and Jason made me feel even better about that.

Bethenny dishes out the jokes a lot, and despite her middle finger gesture, it was nice to see that she could take it, too.

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