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Ever suspect that your Starbucks barista is serving you the evil eye along with your nine extra pumps of vanilla? Well, if your caffeine withdrawal is prompting you to exhibit any of these Trenta-sized bad behaviors, you may not be so paranoid after all.
1. Pour Coffee Into the Trash to Make Room for Condiments
If you can't drink your java without adding a small bucket's worth of half and half, you don't actually need to dump a third of your freshly-brewed coffee directly into the garbage to make room for your dairy. The baristas will happily give you a Tall in a Grande cup if asked. "Does anyone actually pour liquid directly into their trash can at home?" asks Jessica, a former Starbucks employee from Atlanta. "It just winds up being paper from sugar packets and then a bunch of liquid in the trash, which makes it disgusting to change the bags."
2. Order Something From the Secret Menu
[Cue bubbles ready to be burst...] "The Starbucks secret menu doesn't exist," declares Jessica. "It's not a real thing. We don't know how to make a cotton candy Frappuccino—that's something someone made up on the Internet." Unless you can tell the baristas exactly how to make a secret drink (and they're looking for precise numbers of raspberry pumps, for example), they can't just automatically whip up something you drooled over on Instagram. And no, this is definitely not just an additional layer of secret-menu subterfuge.
3. Ask for Free Refills Using Yesterday's Dirty Cup
File this one under "Gross, Don't Be." "I had a man who would bring in a cup every morning that was dirty from the day before and try to get a free refill—just to save $2," Jessica recalls. "It drove me up a wall." Have some cup dignity out there, people.
4. Demand All the Caramel
Even the most restrained people can go full-on Veruca Salt when it comes to getting the absolute maximum volume of caramel possible directly into their hot beverages. "People get really intense about their amounts of caramel," says Jessica. "One lady regularly requested us to take the top off the caramel drizzle bottle and pour it right into the cup." At least she didn't insist that it be poured directly into her mouth?
5. Order a Bunch of Frappuccinos
The average barista would probably rather you drop a hive full of live bees onto their counter than an order packed with Frappuccinos. "Making them is horrible. There are so many steps, it takes a long time, and it messes up the whole rhythm of the coffee bar," Jessica explains. Oh, and hot Frappuccinos? Not a thing. For real.
6. Go Ballistic in the Drive-Through Line
We get it. You’re in a hurry and feeling impatient when you’re at the Starbucks drive-through. But if the line is just creeping along, it’s because the store is backed up inside—it’s actually not a conspiracy by the driver in front of you to waste your time or make you late. “One time a lady got mad because the line was slow, so she rear-ended the car in front of her,” says Jessica. “You need to chill.” Violence is never the answer…especially at a place that sells cake pops.
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