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Like food comas, uberPOOL, or splitting a group bill evenly, hangovers are often a necessary evil in our lives.
We all know exactly what’s waiting for us the next morning when we go out for a night of drinking, but we gladly accept waking up with a pounding headache and dry mouth when the trade-off is forgetting work for awhile, scarfing down midnight pizza, and actually enjoying karaoke.
But now, one brave scientist is working hard to shift the cosmic scales in our favor by boldly imagining a world where you can both go out for happy hour and get up for your 6 a.m. gym class.
His name is David Nutt. And he’s here to rock your world.
OK, specifically he’s here to try and find a scientific cure to your hangovers by combining complex chemical compounds. But wouldn’t that kind of rock your world?
According to GrubStreet, the neuropsychopharmacologist (can you imagine his business cards?) has been working on something he calls “alcosynths” for the past three years. This synthetic alcohol promises all the fun of drinking without any of the painful next-morning consequences. Since beginning his research, Nutt has patented more than 90 different chemical compounds as he works toward the perfect alcohol replacement. GrubStreet also reports that Nutt believes that once completed, these alcosynths will also be able to reduce additional health risks associated with drinking, including weight gain, stomach problems, or even addiction.
Sound too good to be true? He’s already making progress. In trials with “alcohol-industry veterans” Nutt claims that users were unable to tell the difference between his alcosynths and the effects of actual booze, and he estimates hangovers could be completely extinct by 2050. (Lucky news for your future grandkids.)
There is a small part of us that wonders if putting unknown chemical compounds into our body instead of drinking alcohol is just trading one potential set of health risks for another. But we won’t deal with that now.
Instead we’ll just keep buying coconut water.
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