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Dog: The Justice of the Peace

Episode 5:'s Associate Editor talks dog weddings, dragon statues, and Dina Lohan.

Happy New Year's Roble fans. We rung in 2012 bigger and better than ever, with doggie nuptials and a medieval themed fete featuring a cameo by none other than the Lohan matriarch, Dina. Let's get right to it, shall we?

I Now Pronounce You Dog and Dog
I love dogs. I fully agree that "God Loves a Terrier." I see no problem with putting puppies in sartorially minded outfits or general pooch pomp and circumstance. But a dog wedding is something that even I start to wince out. Until I saw how truly, madly in love Harpo and Miss Carmen appeared. 

Just kidding, they looked completely unaware of their surroundings. But the good luck built up by not seeing the bride in her wedding dress at least paid it forward in what the dogs got to eat. Those steak and eggs, dad-gum! I love steak an eggs (it's a little delicious circle of life on a plate), and this looked better than what most brunch places dole out on a Sunday. The human eats didn't look bad either, but I probably would have made my dog split with me, or at least tried a bite of his meatballs while he wasn't looking. 

Livin' La Vida Lohan
There's not much about Sir Ivan's party that would have surprised me. The man is having a party to celebrate a gold statue of his girlfriend, gentleman certainly knows how to party. So when Dina Lohan arrived, I wasn't particularly surprised. I was however overjoyed!

Why did Dina think she was getting punk'd though? Was it something one of the ogres said? Was it because she wasn't being immortalized in bronze, semi-nude? Who knows? She was there and that makes me feel luckier than Ashton Kutcher!

Medieval Times
Not to go back into time, but on one of the slushiest days of 2011, I attended what might have been the best birthday party I've ever been to -- at Medieval Times. Yes, that's right. And you know what -- the food wasn't that bad. I ate that half a chicken, the garlic bread (Authentic? Who cares?), veggies of indeterminate origin, and crumbly piece of pie with my hands free without thinking twice, and figuring that a place who's main dining event is watching teenagers who need some extra cash act as knights on horseback can churn out some decants eats, I was really excited to see what Roble cooked up. 

And man did he not disappoint. The pig looked really spectacular, as did those wood fire roasted veggies. I've also never met a Yukon gold potato I didn't like. But I really, really would have adored to eat a piece of Kiku's tart. I love figs (it's a general adoration of old lady desserts that leads me to that path). Even if it was cut in slices, it looked like the delightfully rustic dish that peasants would have feasted on in fatter times. If I had gotten to sample it, maybe I would have poured a beer in my head in delight too.

Next week Bleezy takes on some Jersey ladies, and I have a feeling it's going to be trouble-town. I cannot wait!

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