What Happens When You Find out Your Ex Is Engaged...Through Social Media?

What Happens When You Find out Your Ex Is Engaged...Through Social Media?

Now we don't know if that Instagram post is how Brielle Biermann found out about the engagement, but it got us thinking: Do our exes owe us a call before posting this type of news?

By Marianne Garvey
Brielle Biermann, Michael Kopech, Vanessa Morgan

Brielle Biermann's ex-boyfriend of two years, White Sox player Michael Kopech, confirmed his engagement to Riverdale actress Vanessa Morgan on Instagram. 

Even if you're "over" an ex, that can hurt to see.

Now we don't know if that Instagram post is how Brielle found out about their engagement, but it got us thinking: Should you give your ex a head's up that you're about to gush about your new partner on social media? Well, that depends, says relationship expert April Masini. 

"If you and your ex were together for a long time, and you want to show respect to your ex, you can let them know that you’re engaged before posting on social media," Masini told Personal Space. "You don’t have to tell them that you’ll be announcing on social media. You just have to let them know you’ve been engaged."

Especially if you and your ex haven’t broken up that long ago, it’s respectful to let your ex know that you’re engaged.

"Letting your ex know that you’re engaged will give them an opportunity to process and prepare for the social commentary that will follow," Masini added.

And if you and your ex have children together, it’s a good move to let your ex know you’re engaged before posting on social media.

"This gives your ex an opportunity to discuss with your children and unify the family where a new step-parent is about to be part of things," she added.

When to not alert your ex:

"The only time it is not a good idea is if your ex is behaving badly and may try to sabotage or hurt you and your new partner or preempt your special engagement announcement," Masini said. "If you’ve got an ex who is not in a good place, distance is your friend. You can’t really win in this situation, so just try to keep things separate and civil."

What about leaving a comment on an engagement announcement if you are an ex?

"If you feel that you want to congratulate your ex and their new partner on a social media engagement announcement, then do so without a lot of fanfare. Less is more in these situations," Masini advised. "Don’t go into a paragraph about how you know what a great lover and provider your ex will be because they were so there for you and gave you the greatest love of your life — and great jewelry on all the holidays, etc. This is passive aggressive — and even if it’s true, keep it to yourself. One word — Congratulations! — is adequate."

And if you want to tell your ex’s new partner to run for the hills, don’t.

"If you want to tell your ex’s new partner that they stole your ex from you, and karma is a bitch, don’t," Masini added. "In all awkward situations, less is more. Save your rants for a friends night out."

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