Jeff Lewis' breakup with Gage Edward is proving to be more and more drama-filled by the day. He first announced their separation on his Radio Andy show Jeff Lewis Live on January 31, and has since been spilling more details about what's happening between the two.
The Flipping Out designer said he "emotionally abandoned" Gage last year, calling himself a "prick" who "turned on him." The end of his friendship with Jenni Pulos-Nassos and the passing of his grandmother Patty caused him to self-destruct, and by the time he realized it, it was too late to save his relationship with Gage.
Even though he's realizing his mistakes, is it too late? Jeff also revealed Gage is already dating. Whoa. Again, Jeff explained on his Radio Andy show Jeff Lewis Live that he knew alllll about a date Gage went on at Mastro's in Beverly Hills on February 2. "So that, number, one is a big f--king misstep," Jeff said, adding that he didn't "feel good about this at all."
Well of course not. After being with someone for a decade it's a punch to the gut when they move on (or at least try to) so fast.
"It hurts because egos get bruised. People hate rejection because it usually forces us to look inward and have our insecurities exposed. Those people think, 'Why aren’t I enough?'" Ross explained. "People who have good self-esteem are much better at chalking up the loss, in fact they often rally and look at the whole situation as a win. Some even express gratitude that they are out of the situation."
Still, for some, like Jeff, who was with Gage for a decade, it can be hard.
"Make it a gut check time. Take a personal inventory," Ross advised. "If you’re upset, ask yourself why. Some people are afraid of change. You can also think, 'Am I better off now?' Others may need to take a look at whether they should be making changes. This is a time that speaking to a therapist may be of some real value."
How can some people move on so fast?
"For some, they don’t get too attached in the first place," Ross said. "For others, they want to nurse their wounds and not have to feel the pain, so they do 'monkey bar' relationships and might be on to the next person already."
Does that mean it's really over for Jeff and Gage?
"For a healthy person, likely," Ross mused. "Emotionally healthy people tend to move on. Their ego is less involved, so they can. They can accept loss as a part of life and are confident they will find someone else. I think we all know people who are always in a relationship, and never alone. Sometimes being alone is the best medicine."
Jeff seems to be making progress on the inventory check, saying he's already changed over the past month. "Believe it or not, I've changed a lot in the last 30 days," he said on his radio show. "There are things that I've done and said that I would never do again to anyone, any person ... It could just be one of my biggest lessons in life, really, truly. And moving forward, there's nothing you could do. You just live and you learn, and you don't repeat the pattern."
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