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An English Cottage on Acid

Jett describes how he would design his dream house.

By Jett Pink

How to Watch

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Another fun-filled week at JLD! Since my review, Jeff has added a few business related tasks to my job -- answering emails, ordering the occasional fixture, and stopping by projects to do random things. It’s cool, no real major promotion, but it’s definitely more interesting than just shopping and watering the lawn. My appreciation of my job was certainly renewed after half the office got fired, and besides, at least I’m one of the few people that can say I grocery shop professionally. 

When it’s time to watch the episode, I’m usually most interested in seeing the actual design work that Jeff does. This is probably because I get to see all the classic drama live and in person. Working for Jeff has definitely created an interest and appreciation for design that I didn’t have when I started working for him. It’s cool to see him impose his vision and style on all of these different projects. Now when I walk into a new place, I think about what I would change in it. But I differ from Jeff in that I think about where I would put the recording studio and the batting cage, rather than the hardwood and Caesarstone. I like a lot of what Jeff uses -- especially the different wall papers and natural rock tiles, but if I were a designer, I would get way more weird with it. My ideal house would be like an English country-style cottage on acid. No, mushrooms. An English country-style cottage on mushrooms...and a little drunk. I don’t know if they still make thatched roofs, but my house would have a huge one and a giant garden full of cherry blossom trees. I’d have pet peacocks and an enormous koi pond that I could swim in. The house would have tons of secret passages and a real dungeon. Of course the dungeon would just be a wine cellar, but it would still have an iron maiden in it. In the back yard, above the batting cage and next to a modestly sized skate park, would be an exact scale replica of the Swiss Family Robinson house where I would put a completely analog recording studio. I would also love it if at least one aspect of my house or property could be seen from space. Yeah, that’s what I do if I were a designer. But, alas, I am but a humble house assistant. 

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