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The Principal Talks Principles

Dr. Jackie thinks Mariah and Toya need to learn how to deal with confrontation. 

By Jacqueline Walters

In tonight's episode I had hoped for healing. As I was forced to again view this fiasco, I realized it resembled a WWF (Women's World Wrestling Federation) scene. As a physician, I know that all living creatures have been designed with the ability to heal; I do know that we can heal from this. Healing takes place only in the proper environment. You also have to be mentally available to heal.

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Tonight, I am not quite sure if it was the environment or mental state, but they were definitely not ready for healing. I am a little taken back that the Doctors (Mr. MDs) were not MORE disappointed at the Mrs. MDs behavior. I don't think that ignoring the principle "We do right because it's right," sends the proper message. There is NO justification for grown women fighting, especially at friend's house.

As a mother, we try to get our teenage daughters/sons to refrain from being bullied or being a bully. Somebody missed the memo! The WWF squad broke all etiquette rules. We learn communication skills from the moment we are born. Opening the lines of communication is imperative to function in our day-to-day lives, and is a must in the business world.  Mariah and Toya are two educated women that must have skipped class on that day. I don't feel like Toya or Mariah are willing to take ownership of this unnecessary altercation.

We must remember that people don't know your life story, and they will have a different take on your personality and your reality. Some people refuse to understand that we can achieve the same things but our approaches may be different.

Now for this fiasco, I think both ladies had valid concerns but chose to deal with them in a juvenile approach.  This could have been handled with a simple conversation and an agreement to disagree. I think everyone can agree it was poor timing on Toya's part, but Mariah as "the Queen B" had a choice not to entertain the conversation. This was a case of ladies being determined to get what they wanted come heck or high waters. Some people refuse to see eye-to-eye because of pride. Though everyone is entitled to having an opinion, we still should be respectful of the other's opinions.  We are held accountable for our actions. It is NEVER OK to hurt another person physically, mentally, or emotionally. This is never OK, although we all justify it when it is done (including me).

We should practice hearing others differences and find a way to compromise. If we use our intelligence to work on these relationship problems, we can become savvier at handling controversy. Please grow-up; get the facts and STOP taking secondhand information. Secondly, don't approach this person with an inappropriate tone or timing because the other person will stop actively listening and only think of their come back. Thirdly, try to find a solution that is fair for both parties. If reaching a common goal is what you really want, we have to both be willing to give.

Just think JACKIE!

J: Just walk away
A: Agree to disagree
C: Check your own behavior
K: Keep your hand to yourself
I: Ignorance is not classy (not calling anyone ignorant!)
E: Engage and listen

I am by no means perfect, nor do I want to sound self righteous. But I am growing daily and will say it is my practice to strive to respect all mankind regardless of their behavior. I do know responding with violence is not the ANSWER!!!

J.M.Walters, M.D.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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