Toya: Why Do I Have to Defend My Life?

Toya: Why Do I Have to Defend My Life?

Toya doesn't understand why she has to defend her decision to be the Harris Household Manager.

This episode definitely highlights the world on two opposite ends along the spectrum of my reality: that of what you see, and what really is. . .

As a wife, mother, and Harris family manager, you get a peek into what I "do." The life of a stay-at-home mother has a lot of benefits: I have the opportunity to be a classroom mother, which affords me the privilege of volunteering at my children's school; I get to be very hands on with raising my children (and experience the joys of potty training); I get to read with them, play with them, and really BE there for important moments, like Ashton's first starring role in his pre-school play. As a mother, I see that my children appreciate me -– every time my husband and/or I enter a room, the kids run to us, hug us. My boys really know how to make me smile. I am glad I have my family, and that I have made them a priority. As a black woman, I have made that choice.

Isn't that ironic? That in the 21st century, I have to defend my position to stay home with my children? Isn't that what the feminist movement was all about? The power to choose what you want, when you want it? How about we do a reset?

Name: Toya B. Harris
Occupation: Harris Household Manager
Hours of Operation: ALWAYS
Duties and Responsibilities: EVERYTHING

It's a lot easier to pass along the duties of child rearing to others. I choose to take care of my kids. Do I choose to "spend all my husband’s money?" NO, because it's our money. I am spending my share of our money. How about that?

Back to my "other" reality. . .

You also get to see that beauty comes at a price, and poor Aydin gets to see that it also comes with a certain pain threshold. Women were built to handle many levels of pain, and I think Aydin shows that we women definitely have a higher pain tolerance. Feel better Aydin. . .I hope it provides the refill your queen B needs for her honeypot. I'm sure your wife will put on her nurses hat for you, so you'll have a speedy recovery.

While Aydin was dealing with the recovery of hair implant surgery, the fashion show event was put on to celebrate women who recovered from breast cancer.

Jackie's behavior, and her comments towards and about me really gave me pause. I guess I must have missed the "all fashion show spectators are expected to wear PINK memo." My not wearing the color of the evening was in no way meant to show insincerity. Jackie's behavior and comments were hurtful. Lisa Nicole was right: HURT people hurt people. During an event that is meant to celebrate survivors and bring awareness to a disease that affects so many women, you focus on the color I am wearing. Don't you have bigger issues to worry about Jackie?


There must have been a negative component in the air, because something that was put on to promote awareness and help raise money for breast cancer turned into Uncle Bob’s Side Show. The screaming, finger pointing confrontations. . .Quad, Reco, Mariah.

And I thought toddlers were challenging?

Best Regards,
Mrs. Toya Bush-Harris

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