Let Sleeping Irelands Lie

Hello my little footed tables, I hope you ordered a plate of bacon wrapped dates and a purple lemonade because we are going to recap this show until we fall asleep under Kathryn's blanket.

This week Kathryn decides why not spend the day recharging and following Martyn around on his gig? Martyn's got to redo the screening room at the chic Colony Palms Hotel. It's got to be Justin Bieber appropriate, so that's a pretty high standard. Sometimes the litany of celebs Martyn lists off just amazes me, and the people that frequent this screening room don't disappoint. He's aiming for a global chic sort of feel and finds it in an amazing Indian tray. What does Kathryn find? She finds salvation and relaxation in some calamari, garlic prawns, mussels, bacon-wrapped dates, sea scallops, and copious cocktails. She also finds a nap.

The tooth is right under the pillow, you don't have to wake me up.

But seriously, before Martyn trots out to collect the sleeping pink panther, the finished product looks really great (Check out the Before and After Shots). I'd love to lay on those new couches in that chic dessert den and watch a Tarantino movie with some garlic prawns and purple lemonade myself.In other BFFs news, Mary and Nathan are off to High Point. Let me tell you a little something about High Point. In a former life, this very editor went to High Point many a times on business and it's a wonderfully strange place. It's Space Camp for decorators. You are submerged in all of the pretty things you love, surrounded by people that have the same passion for interiors that you do, and you're all in together in some strange mall that happens to be in the middle of the South. Getting a good hotel can be crucial, and once upon a time I was not so lucky. This as accurate as I can recall exchange should tell you everything:

Me: Hello, I’d love another blanket please, mine has a few rather large stains on it.
Front Desk Attendant: I’m sorry m'am there are no more blankets.
Me: Excuse me?
FDA: Yes there are no more blankets. The hotel is booked and we don't have any extras. [Click]

So I understood Mum's horror first hand. Someone most definitely did sleep on that bed and it was not Ashley.

What have you done?!?

When the guys finally make it to the actual business of High Point, Nathan is showing off his line for Elite Leather (which Nathan, please send me any and all of those ottomans, particularly the purple. I would die, die, die Rachel Zoe-style), while Mary is showing off the lamps she designed for Robert Abbey with the aide of AltaVista to name them (French for Kim, is Kim, just in case you wanted to name one after me). One of the many reasons I adore this show is because the decorators are so amazingly supportive of each other. Watching Nathan and Mary squeal with delight about each other’s designs, tinker with arrangements, and generally fawn on each other as needed was really heartwarming. And seeing Nathan’s success when Bloomingdale’s adored his dual material couch made my Grinch heart swell two sizes larger.

Or perhaps that was just all the fried food I ate.
And now we go from the land of many tables, to the only one that matters: Jeffrey and Ross’ quest to attain a John Dickinson table from the San Francisco Antiques Show. The boys are on the hunt for the perfect table, and after a few Jetsons and Cleopatra options, they finally find the Holy Grail -- a stone-footed table worth say $16,000. Not too shabby.

The catch is that they can't bid until the morning, and knowing how these boys like to get suited up, I was worried lateness might play a factor. And surprise! It did, meaning their friend (friend?!) Suzanne Tucker snagged the table first. After some straight talk express, Tucker bended gently to the boys pleas and the table was theirs. I was seriously shocked she gave in so easily, but if you had the chance to bring a smile to Jeffrey Alan Marks' face, wouldn't you?

The troubles came back at the homestead, when the boys golden retriever proved to be little help during the install. That breed is notorious for having terrible spatial relations so I'm not sure why JAM thought she would have any useful commentary on which way the rug should face, but I guess he expects her to have learned something in the years of living at JAM HQ.

After Ross fails to balance the large breakfast tray filled with goblets of coconut water on the table, it seems it's fated for a life as a side table, but it's still a life in the magnificent sun room, so all is not lost.

Next week is the season finale, and I'm all verklempt about it. I'm wholly unprepared to live in a world without this show. Until we meet for our final moments, tweet about your favorite decorators, and leave me your hotel horror stories in the comments.