Episode 7: Welcome to Heatherbreak

Quick poll: who here is as much of a coward as I am? Who here is a terrible coward who has to hide whenever anything scary happens on this show, hide under his baby blanket and plug his ears? Because there are now massive swathes of every episode of Million Dollar Listing where I have to just this, because I don’t want to get trapped inside the Madison-Altman-Heather Bermuda Triangle. 

If I had to guess, I would say all of you probably do it. It's the only sane reaction. Because this episode contains the Madison-Josh Altman confrontation we've been waiting for this whole season. This is Season 4's equivalent of when Chad kept telling Madison and Josh Flagg that they were "cheapening this day" at the Habitat for Humanity site. To add a nice degree of volatile weirdness to everything, the fight goes down at this sort of dating arena Heather has set up for Madison. I think the last time something like this happened, Tom Cruise was trying to find his new queen.

(Check out what you didn't see in these behind-the-scenes shots from Madison's mixer.)

Things start out grandly. The potential suitors buzz around trying to get Madison's sweet, polleny love. Madison swats most of them away, but finally deigns to show interest in one of these lowly drones. But all thoughts of romance must be set aside, because Josh Altman suddenly arrives, and after this, who knows if the universe will even exist anymore.

Madison gets into it immediately. He accuses Josh of planting seeds of betrayal in Heather's mind. Altman responds that all he's done is encourage her… buuuut, frankly, he thinks she's ready for anything she wants. Which makes things difficult for Madison, because the only position it leaves for him is saying that he thinks she isn't. So instead, he says he will fight Josh, who proceeds to bounce.

(Break down the drama frame-by-frame with shots from this week's episode.)

The big question here is, well, what if Madison does get her to stay on as his assistant? Convinces her that she's not ready/not good enough to be an agent with him? That work environment can't be good for anyone. And if I'm Madison, I don't want to hurt my dear assistant. This is probably yet another sign that I'm never going to be an awesome billionaire businessman (something about the frequency with which I eat Doritos for dinner, and the level of satisfaction I have with this, gives me the feeling I’m not going to be running another person's life anytime soon).

Anyway, let's move on. Over on the Flagg side of the Isle of Josh, we're treated to Josh F's patented brand of regal dorkiness. Ah, I can breathe again. He's back at the estate known as "Yellow Shoeboxes," because it seems to actually be made out of discarded shoeboxes. Lovely Lupe is back in action, and lots of people come by to see the property. None of them are interested in buying, and I'm guessing that a lot of them just want to be seen looking at a house that's so expensive.

(Check out photos of all of this week's properties.)

But there's something more important to talk about, and that is THE BOMB Josh drops on us. His book is coming along swimmingly, and he goes to meet with his business manager, who has concerns about one chapter. Specifically, how it will affect the important people in his life. Even more specifically, how it will impact the important person in his life.  Eeeeeeeven more specifically, someone named Colton. (I mean, that is a person's name, right? Not a store? Of course not, right?) Well, whatever's going on, I'll admit I'm interested, and I hope Josh will present it with his typical showmanship.

And our other Josh? He sells a monster property, and gets a sweet lil' leasing deal. Maybe he's using his player powers on me, but for some reason, I consistently want to go up to him and earnestly say, "Josh - you da man."

Tell us who's your #milliondollaragent.