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The Daily Dish Relationships

How to Handle It When You Have to Meet Your Ex's New Partner (for the Sake of the Kids)

Kourtney Kardashian and Sofia Richie finally met face to face.

By Marianne Garvey

Kourtney Kardashian, her ex Scott Disick, and his girlfriend, Sofia Richie, shocked everyone when they were all spotted out to dinner together in Los Angeles recently. Kourtney had previously been hesitant to meet Scott’s girlfriend, who is nearly 20 years younger than Kourtney, because she wasn’t sure how serious the relationship was. She also cried on Keeping Up With the Kardashians because Scott introduced Sofia to the former couple’s three children, Mason, 8, Penelope, 6, and Reign, 3, without telling her first.

But the meal was less than friendly, reports People — although it could reveal how you personally should handle meeting an ex's new parter.

"It wasn’t like they are all friends and were hanging out for fun. It looked more like a business dinner,” an insider said, adding that Kourtney has no desire to get “to know Sofia better.” She just wants to make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to the kids. “Sofia spends time with Kourtney’s kids, so Kourtney wants to make sure they are all on the same page. Scott and Sofia tend to get into arguments. Kourtney wants to make sure the kids are in a positive environment when they are at Scott’s house. She is setting up rules for how things needs to be when the kids are with Scott.”

As hard as it is to sit down with your ex’s new partner, you should try to remain civil, and there are ways how, said protocol expert Diane Gottsman.

“It’s always best to maintain decorum by behaving politely and civilly,” she told Personal Space. “Especially when there are kids involved, you don’t want to make your kids feel guilty for liking or getting along with their new stepparent. It’s a plus when your ex's new partner is invested in the children. Of course, as long as they are respectable, responsible adults.”

She noted this new person in your children’s lives may even be good for them. “Your ex's partner may even be a good influence on the kids,” she explained.

Acting immaturely or out of control in front of this new person is going to get you nowhere, she added. “When you behave inappropriately, in regard to your ex-partner's new mate, it makes you appear jealous and small minded,” Gottsman said. “The best revenge is to live your best life and let other people see you are happy, healing, and moving on. Your kids will benefit with your positive outlook.”

It's big of Kourtney to talk to Sofia, as you don't really have to deal with an ex's new partner if you don't want to (not that that will make things any easier).

"A lawyer will probably advise you to keep the peace as best you can. That means that you might have to bite your tongue when you feel like snapping at her or that you might have to hold back your irritation when she tries to discuss something with you. However, it doesn’t mean that she’s allowed to overstep her bounds, especially when it comes to the children you and your ex share," said a report by Rosen Law Firm in North Carolina. "Don’t be afraid to let her know if that happens, but be honest with yourself. Has she really overstepped them? It’s easy to take things personally during and after divorce, so make sure you’re justified before you get defensive. Above all, keep things civil. Your life, and your kids’ lives, will be much more peaceful if you can be nice when you deal with your ex’s new girlfriend."

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