Robyn's Diary

Rewind

May 17th 2008 

Saturday night 6 pm, our first date. Mark picks me up in a taxi (so we don't drink and drive), we were both pretty nervous and excited. We had spent hours on the phone after our meeting on Jdate. He takes me to Bond Street at the Thomson Beverly Hills. We ate, drank cold sake, and had amazing conversation. Walked back to my place about a mile from the restaurant, grabbed T and A (my dogs) and walked to Pinkberry for some fro-yo. At 2am we were dancing around my living room. At 4am he landed a kiss. At 9am I said, "OMG, I'm supposed to pick up my cousin from his hotel and take him to brunch at 1pm. Wanna come?" After meeting my cousin Michael, who was in from DC, we went back to Beverly Hills and met my sister Ashley who lives in O.C. and was on a blind date with some freaky guy she met on Match. At this point we are like a couple really. Monday morning Mark leaves... And calls the next day with a surprise from sprinkles cupcakes. He's not the player I thought he was.

May 20th 2008 

He comes over and never leaves... May 30th is his Birthday. He gets a key.

Fastforward 

May 23rd 2009 

Mark proposes to me at his birthday party in Roxbury Park in front of sixty of our west coast friends and family. It was so sweet and romantic. It was too windy to light the candles on his cake, so everyone just started singing. I continued to try to light the candles and just as the song ended I had one lit candle in my hand, held it in front of Mark, and said, "Make a wish!" And Mark said, "I wish that Robyn Ross would marry me." I was in such shock, and with tears and joy I said, "Yes!" Less then a week later we decide to move to NY.

June 5th 2009

We hopped in my BMW convertible with T and A in tow and drove across the country... A few speeding tickets later (I was pulled over 3 times but got 2 tickets).

June 11th 2009

We arrived in Southampton for the summer. When the fall came around we settled on the UES (Upper East Side). 

Immediately after settling into our Manhattan apartment, we started the IVF process using my frozen eggs.

Flashback

May 2007 

I'm 37 years old, single (after being divorced from my first husband for over five years), living on the UES in the city, and thinking I must do something to freeze my fertility clock. And that's literally what I did -- I froze my eggs so that one day when I met Mr. Right I would have younger, healthier eggs. By doing this it took the pressure off of dating, not that I was going to waste time with someone that I saw no future with, but I was giving myself more time without feeling too much pressure (like I already was feeling) to have a baby on my own. I knew eventually I'd meet Mr. Right, and when I did, I would have an insurance policy. 

Back to the Present

September 15th 2009 

My first trip to the fertility doctor. I had blood work and an ultrasound and again on the 18th, 21st, 24th, 26th, and 30th of September.  

October 1st 2009 

The day we have been waiting for -- Insemination Day... Successful embryo transfer. They put 4 embryos in and now I've got to take it easy and rest for a few days while the waiting begins. Did it take or not? And how many? I was feeling pretty confident as I always knew in my heart it would take. I also always thought I would have twins but for sure one boy. Well, we will soon find out... 

October 12th 2009

Back to the doctor... OMG! It's confirmed I was pregnant. We couldn't have been any more EXCITED! My numbers looked GREAT but we now need to keep on monitoring them to make sure they keep going up. And I had to continue with these horrible white foamy suppositories. 

October 14th 2009

Woo hoo, my numbers were still going up.

October 16th 2009

My Grandma Rose died today at 97 years old.

October 22nd 2009

More blood work and this time an ultrasound, and we heard one heartbeat. This was SO INCREDIBLE and we have a picture too. ONE BABY! 

October 29th 2009

It's confirmed, just one heart beat. And there is one gestational sack so we definitely don't have twins, triplets, or quadruplets. We have one little angel. THANK GOD!

November 12th 2009

This was my last visit with my fertility doctor, Dr. Copperman, and my work was done. I was now ten weeks pregnant (which is figured from my last menstrual cycle), and it's now time to start with an OBGYN. We heard amazing things from several momss about MFM out of Mt. Sinai, so we scheduled to see one of the doctors there. We were more then excited about this appointment. We met with one of the doctors and liked him very much, but found that the front office was less then desirable to deal with. We had a few more appointments with this doctor, and the front end kept on getting worse. At this point they were screwing up appointments and my due date, which also effected testing. Mark, being a three time cancer survivor had his share of working with doctors, and he felt it was important to let the office manager know of the rudeness and inadequacy of the staff. The office manager was very sympathetic and said she would advise the doctors and have him call us, which he did, and he too assured us that things would improve. And then, the night before we are scheduled to re-do the nuchal (because they screwed up the dates prior) we get a letter from the head of the practice letting us know that they will do the Nuchal, but that should those results read that I need to do a CVS test that same day, that they would not do this and that we would have to find another doctor to do so. Which would mean that we would have no more then two days to do so. Not the kind of stress you want to put on a pregnant women. So the next morning we went in for the Nuchal, before we were called in for the procedure, the doctor that was the head of the practice called us into his office to make sure we received and understood there letter, and that if I needed the CVS test that they wouldn't do it. We confirmed that we understood and we started to explain what had happened and the doctor cut Mark off and said, "I understand you like to be treated like royalty." It was absolutely horrible and THANK GOD that the Nuchal was great results and we didn't need a CVS test after all. To give you an example of just how horrible this front office was, I just called them so they could help remind me of the dates I visited them, and I was on hold for over thirty minutes before I gave up. 

I'm now about thirteen weeks pregnant and without a doctor... OMG! This was nerve wracking! Any doctor that was referred to me or that my insurance took was full for patients delivering in June. I never heard of this before. A doctor being full, but then again it was the first time I was having a baby and in this situation. Finally one night at dinner with our dear friends, Ekat and Rudy, they said, "You have to call my doctor. She's the best." They both raved about her and she delivered both of their two girls. Well thanks to the Gofmans we were able to get an appointment with Dr. Jane Kaufman, because she to was full and not accepting new patients. 

December 23rd 2009  

Fourteen weeks and four days pregnant, Mark and I meet with Dr. Jane Kaufman and we absolutely LOVED her and her front and back office. It was a world of difference. Night and day...WHAT A RELIEF!

January 2010

GREAT NEWS! Or was it? We found out we were having a girl. We both thought throughout the whole pregnancy that I was carrying a boy, and my whole life I pictured myself with a boy. We were in a little bit of shock, and it took about a week to get really excited about the news. It would get easier every time I looked over at Mark sitting on the couch, and he would have his hands in his pants. Or when we'd go to a friends house and their little boys were being boys. It took very little convincing before we got EXTREMELY EXCITED about having our little girl. And then... Was it going to be Cameryn, Camden, or California. (Mark hated that... I thought it was pretty cool. I thought we'd call her Cali.) Mark LOVED and I liked Cameryn, I LOVED Camden he hated it until one day it sunk in with him, I guess he heard of a lot of positive things from friends and family. So yay for me it was my first choice. Ross (my last name) was going to be the middle name, but it sounded too masculine with Camden, so we chose Rose in honor of my Grandma Rose who died at 97 years old just abut twelve days after we found out we were pregnant and Mark's Grandpa Ramone who also died within the year at age 89. 

February 10th 2010 

IT'S MY 40TH BIRTHDAY!

February 13th 2010

We rented out the coolest little Mexican restaurant. La Barra Cevicheria, on the Lower East Side to celebrate ME!

February 24th 2010

We head out to Los Angeles for more birthday celebrations for me.

February 27th 2010

My west coast baby shower. My future mother-in-law, Aunt Rosie, and Cousin Dalia threw my a beautiful party. I was so nervous it wasn't going to be as I dreamed up in my head, but it was all that more.

March 16th 2010

I went to Dr. Kaufman's office to drink this horrible sugary drink to check if I had gestational diabetes. A few days later I got a call saying that I needed to come back in to take another test...

March 23rd 2010

Back to take the other test and this one was also with the sugary drink, but it has double the sugar, and it's now a four hour test and the results would take a few days to get back. After drinking the drink and having a sonogram and blood work, I said to Jane, "If it's bad news let me enjoy the weekend and call me next week." So that weekend, I ate whatever, whenever I wanted, I was going to go out with a bang just in case my sweet days were over. I think I had Mr. Softee twice in one day. I had cup cakes and mac and cheese too. And sure enough...

March 29th 2010

Jane calls, her first words were, "You asked me to wait until after the weekend." I just broke down and started to cry. How could this be? Nobody in my family has diabetes, and what a SCARY word that is...

March 30th 2010

I wasted no time, I had my first appointment with Lisa Cohn at Park Ave Nutrition. Lisa went over what to eat and what not to eat. Including portions and how often I needed to eat to keep my blood sugar levels in line. This was a very emotional session as it's the first I'm dealing with my diagnosis and yet I still don't know how serious it is... I'm meeting with the endocrinologist in a few days...

March 30th 2010

I submitted myself for an audition for 'Pregnant in Heels.' Am I the anti-client? I don't even wear heels. So how can Rosie help me I thought... I don't need help with a baby shower, nanny, baby nurse, or a Brazilian. Well, I have gestational diabetes and I need to get married and fast. My neurotic future mother-in-law (WHOM I LOVE) wouldn't get off my back about getting married and not just by going to city hall either. She wanted a Rabbi, a chuppah, hydrangeas, the whole shebang, yet she wasn't offering to throw me a wedding and I'm so level headed I wouldn't spend what little of my own money I have on a wedding knowing that I'm bringing a miracle into the world and would need any savings I have to care for the baby. Marie and Mark both felt since Mark being a three time cancer survivor that he would probably never marry let alone have a baby of his own, and it was a dream, and I wanted them to have their dream. So I asked, Rosie, can you help me with a wedding?  

April 2nd 2010

I met with Dr. Baker my endocrinologist for the first time, he was great. He really explained what this all meant for me and helped me get through some of the emotions of dealing with my diagnosis which were pretty intense and another blood test. Dr. Baker sends me home with an RX for this little machine which comes with a pricker and he tells me that everyday I will have to test my blood about seven times a day. So Scary! I HATE NEEDLES.

April 2nd 2010

I had my audition with the casting crew from 'Pregnant In Heels.' This was my very first audition, and I was EXTREMELY nervous. I had managed talent when I lived in Los Angeles for a few years but was never on the other end. In fact, if anyone ever handed me a microphone at a Wedding, Bar Mitzvah or Sweet 16 and asked me to say something about the guest of honor, I would get red and pass the microphone along. No way would I be caught on video. As nervous as I was at the audition, they made me feel comfortable and it was FUN! They asked if I could come back tomorrow for the producers with Mark. 

April 3rd 2010

Mark and I head over... We were SO EXCITED! We had a blast! And we wanted to be on the show...

April 6th 2010

Back to Dr. Kaufman for measurements, exam, and to the hospital for fetal stress test (something I need to do once a week now until the baby comes because of the diabetes).

April 7th 2010

I meet with Dr. Baker and he's happy with the way I've been managing my numbers but not my morning numbers. Apparently there is a hormone that gets triggered during pregnancy that makes it hard to control the morning blood sugar levels by diet alone. I begged and pleaded with Dr. Baker to give me a few more days to try on my own without needing to start on insulin. If I haven't already mentioned, I'm PETRIFIED of needles and now I have to inject myself at least once a day. OMG!

April 8th 2010

We are still waiting on edge, the word is the producers LOVED us and they might follow our Wedding. (The next few weeks we crazy while we were waiting... Are we getting married on TV or do we need to hurry to city hall before the baby arrives...)

April 12th 2010

I went back to Dr. Baker, and I was told I HAD to start the insulin... I'm completly FREAKED OUT!

April 13th 2010

Hospital for fetal stress test... Everything is PERFECT! And I got to take a nice afternoon nap. 

April 14th 2010

I finally had the courage to stick myself with the needle. I took a deep breathe and POW! 

April 20th 2010

Back to see Dr. Kaufman for another exam and measurements. And again, to the hospital for fetal stress test. And again, everything is perfect! And I got to take another afternoon nap.

April 22nd 2010

Back to Dr. Baker who rechecks all my blood levels. I'm now a pro at injecting myself but not enjoying it any more. We have been consistently upping the dose until my morning numbers reach the desired goal.

April 23rd 2010

We are having a wedding and a baby in the next 8 weeks! Hopefully the wedding comes first...

 April 26th 2010

we take a tour of the hospital, Weill Cornell/Columbia Presbyterian.

April 29th 2010

And again, to the hospital for fetal stress test, everything is perfect and I got to take another afternoon nap.

April 30th 2010

Dr. Baker... more blood, same drill, and keep upping the dose.Wwill I ever reach the goal... 

May 4th 2010

Everything checks out great at Dr. Kaufman's and the hospital for fetal stress test.

May 6th 2010

We finally find out when we will be getting married... Our friends and family are freaking out, so many had to book flights from Los Angeles. And the day is Sunday, over Memorial Day weekend, May 30th, Mark's Birthday... OMG, it's only three weeks away... How will Rosie ever work out all the details out? How could this be possible? How will I have a dress that fits this body? And even though we have the date, we have no idea the time or place? So many unanswered questions... 

May 7th 2010

And once again back to Dr. Baker... more blood, same drill and keep upping the dose of insulin. When will I ever reach my goal? I sound like a broken record...

May 8th 2010

We've been filming for the show. Mark is FREAKING OUT and cannot handle the lack of control he has about planning our own wedding. 

May 11th 2010

We took a child care class so Mark could learn how to change diapers. We learned how to swaddle the baby, how early you can bathe the baby, about the umbilical cord falling off, etc.

MAY 13th 2010

Once again, everything checks out great at Dr. Kaufman's and the hospital for fetal stress test.

May 14th 2010

Back to Dr. Baker... More blood, same drill, and keep upping the dose. Will I ever reach the goal... THIS IS GETTING OLD!

May 15th 2010

My New York baby showe at the GW in Roslyn, NY. My Mom and my sister Ashley did an unbelievable job, it was absolutely AMAZING! We had so much fun, and I felt SO SPECIAL...

May 18th 2010

We find out where we were getting married, and Mark is freaking out that it's not at the St. Regis, The Pierre or The Plaza. Quite frankly, I was THRILLED and trying to not let him get to me and bring him to undrstand how GREAT this was. We are having a wedding and how great is it that we really don't have to stress over every detail... At this point I just wanted the day to come... 

May 23rd 2010

I'm now FREAKING OUT! I'm getting married in six days, and I only had one dress fitting and I HATED THE DRESS since the first time I saw it in the dressing room with Rosie. 

May 24th 2010

I meet with one of Rosie's assistants at a tailor at about 6pm who looked at this horrible shop worn dress on me and said, "I cant fix this. It won't come out good." This is not happening... The assistant suggests that I take the dress with me to a tailor that I might know... 

May 25th 2010

I go to the tailor that Mark took his tux too. He fixed Mark's tux pretty quickly and my tailor is all the way out on Long Island so I head to 57th street. Jose the tailor promised me that this was an easy job, and that my dress would be ready on Thursday.

May 27th 2010

Thursday I head over to Jose, I was hoping for miracles, he was supposed to transform this rag into what would make me look like a Greek Goddess... I think I actually screamed, I definitely cried... He was so nervous he tried to work on it while I was there and he just kept making it worse. My left boob was literally falling out when I leaned over, and it scrunched up my boobs. I could never wear this dress. I called Rosie freaking out and she promised we'd work everything out... 

May 28th 2010

She sent me to David's Bridal... LOL not really... I had to spend the next two days with them finding a dress that I liked, and I couldn't make my hair color and manicure/pedicure appointments... I had to stand for three hours while the seamstress was working on the dress, it was 90 degrees in there and I'm pregnant, starving, and have to pee...Everything was last minute and crazy stressful!

May  29th 2010

All of our out of town guests were arriving in and we were all checking into the Ace Hotel, I was running around frantic trying to get everything done... At 3pm I went to David's which just happened to be a few blocks from the hotel and the dress isn't ready. They made me wait about an hour and finally I go to try it on and it's SOOOO BAD... I couldn't even get my arms in... OMG! It's now after 5pm the night before my wedding, and I still need my mani/pedi and to be at my rehearsal dinner on the UES by 7:30. The anxiety was intense... BREATHE!

May 30th 2010

By far one of the GREATEST days of my life... We had most of our closest friends and family to share it with us and it was truly VERY SPECIAL. When my mom and I walked out of the bridal suite and headed outside and started to walk around the building and I looked ahead of myself at the scene I was about to walk into, I was so proud that I created all this. I made this happen. And the tears of joy (and very little sadness) kept coming. Looking at Mark, looking at me when we were standing under the chuppah is something I will never, ever forget. It was LOVE and enamour in his eyes. After the beautiful ceremony outside by the Hudson River and Statue of Liberty, we went inside and danced and dined for hours... It exceeded all my expectations. And the party then continued back at our hotel suite but not before Mark and I stopped off to see our favorite guy, Mr. Softee... YUM! We celebrated our love for each other and Mark's birthday.

June 1st 2010

The party is over all our guests are gone and were back at home... Now I have time to stress out about THE LABOR AND DELIVERY...

June 3rd 2010

I coming off the high from all the wedding planning and excitement, and I decided I want to hire a postpartum doula. 

June 6th 2010

After going through the process and meeting with four or five doulas, one of them suggests I use a labor doula. This came about during the interview when we had so many questions. Well we liked that doula, but she didn't have enough births under her so we felt maybe we should find another doula for the labor and use her for the post. The search is back on... And so is the anxiety... BREATHE...

June 7th 2010

This was my last visit to Dr. Baker before the baby arrived. He gave me directions to continue until and after I went into labor. He said that I should bring all my supplies to the hospital and that they would test me in the hospital and in most cases the diabetes would be gone after I have the baby. 

June 11th 2010

I'm scheduled with photographers (and friend Yale Gurney, who took our photos at our wedding, and his associate Tammy Davidson) to do a maternity shoot today, and I need a lot of motivation to get it together. There was no planning for this at all, what we should wear, what look I wanted, etc...  I just feel so BIG, I could POP and the last thing I want to do is go and have to look pretty to take pictures... But once we got there we had a blast. It was so much fun! And we got really great pics.

June 13th 2010

We hired a very expensive labor doula. We had our initial consult and interview back to back for a few hours in our apartment. She gave me a list of things to bring on my labor naturally so that I didn't go past the 22nd of June. My due date was the 19th, but with the diabetes Dr. Kaufman didn't want to go more then a few days late before she would induce me. I was so FREAKED out and NERVOUS about all of this, but within that week the doula had me go to acupuncture three times and massage three times, I had to buy a special tea and massage oil to induce my labor naturally and if I didn't go into labor by the 18, 19th or 20th she was going to have me drink caster oil... Now I don't know what's worse -- The pitocin that the doctor might give me or the caster oil the doula wanted me to drink. They both sound HORRIBLE! And the unknown of everything is making me nuts...

June 18th 2010

I have a really bad pain in my belly, but still no contractions... (And it happens to be my sister Ashley's Birthday.) When is my baby girl going to make her debut?

June 19th 2010

Dr. Kaufman is on call in the hospital, and I go in to get examined. I hadn't had the fetal stress test yet that week so she said to come see her... The baby has turned. I now have a scheduled c-section for June 21st. And now I'm praying that I don't go into labor on my own.

June 20th 2010

I packed my bag for the hospital and got all the last minute things ready in the apartment... Still praying for no contractions. 

June 21st 2010

It was time to leave and my mom was MIA. after parking her car she went to buy me flowers (which I had to carry in with me to the hospital). I don't want to sound unappreciative, but who can think of flowers in a time like this -- I'm just anxious to get there. Mark was driving me crazy asking me over and over again if I had everything I needed. My hormones were RAGING and when Rosie showed up at my door I had on the horrible dress she wanted me to get married in. I was no Greek goddess and I was going to go to the hospital in this dress... The drive over was nerve wracking. I was petrified of the whole experience but at the same I was so excited to finally meet my baby girl. 

Mark and I had a good time while were waiting to be admitted, there was a nice couple there having twins with a c-section right before me. And now it's my turn to go in... The prep room was probably one of the WORST experiences of my life... The nurse couldn't find the vein in my arm and punctured me so that I would still have a bruise five months down the road. After three attempts they finally got the IV hooked up to me in the other arm, and now they take me in alone to get me on the table give me the epidural before Mark is allowed in. I'm still so so scared! I have always feared that huge needle in my back... What a crazy sensation. you have to be so still and then the second they finish you have to quickly lay down and get into position before you completely loose all the feelings in the lower part of your body. And all I kept saying was please put my music on... I chose chanting music. Ohm Namah Shiviah.... Mark is FINALLY allowed in. The procedure was really quite quick the worst of it was over, at least for me. Mark got to see my insides out. 1:12pm and there she was... CAMDEN ROSE COHEN 8 pounds 6 ounces and 20 inches long. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL! The feeling is indescribable -- it was so surreal. I remember wanting to have her with me right away, but the doctors had to clean and get Camden all checked out. Plus my hands were tied down because I had a c-section. And now the moment I've been waiting for... She was PERFECT! I had an ANGEL in my arms. And from the moment they finally brought her to me she never left my side again. Mark and I were filled with so much love in our hearts. It was so peaceful, we felt really great (despite the fact that I was healing from my c-section), I remember the one night we had no coverage for the dogs so I told Mark to go home to them and the nurse who was on promised she would be around to help me with changing CC's diapers and bringing her to me for feedings... Well, the nurse was a lot busier then she anticipated and the baby was crying, and I had to make myself get up to get to her. It was so difficult but I found the strength to get to her. 

BREASTFEEDING was the HARDEST thing I had ever done. I used to judge women who said that the baby didn't latch on or the milk didn't come, and now I will never judge again. I could have quit, and no, she didn't latch on right away and the nurses convinced me into attaching this tube to boob with formula in it. They said she wasn't eating enough because she lost 10% of her body weight while we were there, and they freaked Mark out so he was worried and putting pressure on me too. The thing is, if an 8 pound 6 ounce baby loses a pound its no big deal. She's still a nice size baby. When CC's pediatrician came she wasn't worried, but it was already to late...  

We were in the hospital for 5 days and had many visitors and a room filled with beautiful flowers and treats. We had a beautiful corner private room with a river view, we had our very soothing spa music on low in the background. There was a bed set up in the room for Mark and for my sister Laura who stayed to help me one night when Mark went home to stay with the dogs. My mom stayed with Toby and Andie the other nights... Each night Mark brought home a blanket of Camden's to prepare them for her arrival. 

June 25th 2010

WE CHECKED OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. This in itself was an adventure... We had so many bags, flowers, cookie arrangements, stuffed animals, balloons, my suitcase, diaper bag, and everything else Mark, my mom and I had... After three trips for Mark downstairs to the car, the stress was already starting, and now the dress I planned on wearing home suddenly became too small. My milk came and BOOBS! They were PORN STAR HUGE, and it was so PAINFUL! It was like 90 degrees outside and once we got downstairs to the car Mark panicked and instead of just putting the car seat into the base that we already had installed with a lesson from the car seat lady he undid the base and pulled it out... Now what? With no memory of what we learned in the middle of a very busy circular driveway in the front of the hospital and the valet guys are asking us to move, we hailed over a police officer to help. My boobs are out of my dress and are killing me, Camden was hungry. so I decided to attempt my first public feeding in the front seat of the car. This was FREAKING OUT my mother who thought I was showing people my breasts, and I had to pee... FINALLY we were on our way home... We unload the car, and slowly make our way up as I'm still not moving fast and I'm still in pain with my belly and my boobs. We get to the front door and.., THE DOGS FREAKED OUT! My two little beautiful miniature dachshunds were literally screaming, drooling, and foaming at the mouth... They didn't know what the baby was. Trying to get comfortable in my own home was tough... I was in a ton of pain from the c-section. My bed is so high and I don't know how I will get up onto it without a stool. Especially in the dark when I have to get up to feed/change the baby or even go to the bathroom myself. The anxiety was flowing for everybody, and I just wanted to have peace... BREATHE! I asked my mom who I thought was going to be more hands on and helpful to order dinner or get some food (which eventually I had to order myself from delivery.com) since she was just sitting on my couch watching the NJ Housewives... The dogs are SCREAMING, the Italian women on TV are SCREAMING, my mom is sitting on her ass, Mark almost killed Toby, and my HORMONES ARE RAGING... All I wanted to do was to go back to the hospital. The food arrived, I ask my mom to make me a plate. She replies, "No, you'll wait until you're done nursing and we'll eat as family" I said, "ARE YOU KIDDING? I"M STARVING and need to eat NOW!" This is not the time for a family dinner. Eventually we all eat, the baby was sleeping, I said to my mom who is now watching QVC, "I think I might need to sleep on my couch tonight since my bed is too high and I'll need to get in and out of it. And with that she rolled over towards the wall to go to sleep. I head to the kitchen where I find our dinner dishes in the sink... IS SHE KIDDING ME? Could she please do something for me without me asking her to? Why is she giving me more work to do? And then she walks over to the hall closet and says to me, "I'm cold, I need a blanket," so I shoot her this look and she got angry and said something and then stormed out... I didn't hear from her for a few days and when I did she was acted like nothing happened. Over the next few days we had a tough time adjusting...

The dogs were really stressing us out an finally (it seemed like forever), we brought a trainer in. Marie really helped us. She gave us a bunch of tools and tricks. With a lot of hard work an consistency they would eventually chill out. Or at least I was really hoping they would. 

We had a several visitors, and I probably should have taken advantage and napped a little more while they were there. Once mark was back at work I had the doula come to help me a few days. She would tell me to take a nap but I thought how could I sleep with a stranger in my house? I will wake up (GOD forbid) and my baby would be gone. So instead I just had her cook for me, massage my feet, change CC's diapers and bring her to me to feed. But what I really needed was to sleep. We were so sleep deprived... The baby was getting up every two hours to eat. Breastfeeding was hard but got so much better after I started pumping a little and again after I figured out that my freestyle pump allowed me to be hands free!

July 8th 2010

Mark's Mom came to visit for two weeks and it was like having a baby nurse. Finally, I can sleep a little bit. Marie really stepped up to the plate. I always expected that she wouldn't be as into the baby as my own mother, but I was completely wrong... And this couldn't make me any happier (not that my mom wasn't as involved but that Marie was). We were so sad to see her leave when she did. A few weeks later we were really getting into a groove. Camden and I were attending mommy groups and classes. Breastfeeding has become second nature. The dogs are getting used to CC being here (but they're not BFF's yet). The weight is coming off but I still have tons more to go. I'm still not sure what happened but my mom is back! And she loves, adores, and dotes on her granddaughter!