Ashlee: Let's NOT Talk About Sex, Baby

Hi, everyone! Welcome back this week. So much happened in this episode, and once again, there were lots of highs and lows for me. Some of it is fun to re-live and watch (Ashley’s wedding) and some of it is painful (ummm date with Marcos). 

All drama involving friends weighs heavily on my heart, so I immediately wanted to clear the air with Amanda at the sleepover. It wasn’t an interrogation. I felt I owed it to her to hear what she had to say about the situation, and it was all still so fresh -- my meeting with Joey had been just the day before. I take friendship seriously and wanted to hear her side because we are friends, and Amanda had every right to know what Joey told me.

In general, I’m protective, almost motherly, with my friends. If I see my friends upset after being repeatedly hurt by the same person, of course I’m going to advise keeping a distance. With the Joey situation, I I did vent to Amanda about the things that Joey has done to me. I have been hurt and in tears on numerous occasions, so I’m not going to pretend that I think Joey is a good friend to have around. All I ever wanted when I discussed Joey with Amanda was to protect her! Sometimes it’s the people with the biggest hearts that get hurt and walked all over. But, this is who I am. I’m fiercely loyal to anyone I believe to be a true friend in my life. I’ve gotten hurt in the past for standing up so strongly when it comes to matters with the people I love, but I will continue to take that risk because that’s just who I am. 

On to more awkward topics… I can’t help that I think some things are private. I’m really old school when it comes to talking about sex. I just really believe in respect and privacy on the whole matter. If being respectful makes me uptight, then I guess Amanda will just have to get over that. Honestly, it’s a little weird that she even cares so much. If I want someone to know me sexually they will -- otherwise it’s just really not anyone else’s business. That’s just the way I am. Sorry.

Watching the episode I got to really see what Amanda thinks of me, and clearly she doesn’t know me as well as I thought she did. I’m not just looking for a guy with money. I may make jokes sometimes, but I value family and health above all else. I think maybe Amanda doesn’t understand my definition of success. I don’t have to date someone who is Jewish either. I’m very much looking for a gentleman: someone who respects everyone. I’m attracted to successful, ambitious men that are passionate about their careers because it says a lot about them as a person. I’m not looking for a dollar sign. I’m looking for a complete package... which brings me to Marcos. I mean I think that final scene pretty much speaks for itself. I don’t know what happened after dinner, but it was honestly one of the most uncomfortable dates I have ever been on!

Chanel’s sister, Ashley, had the most beautiful wedding. Casey and I were so touched that we were included in the celebration. Watching Chanel stand up there by her sister was so incredible to watch. I’m so proud to call her my friend that it almost brought tears to my eyes watching the whole thing. That one moment where she mouths “I love you” to Casey and me completely highlights just how special the friendship is that the three of us share. The Omaris are such an amazing family. No one throws a party like they do!

Get ready for another big episode next week. Honestly, just watching the previews for next week made me anxious because I remember so vividly all of the heartbreak that happened last summer. I feel like I’m going to have to re-live the pain of that last trip, and I’m not sure I’m ready to do that. Thank you so much to all of you who have been here for me. I will get through it with my friends, family, and all of your support!