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Joey's Put-Downs Get Old

Ashlee reaches her breaking point.

By Ashlee White

Welcome back for another week of my blog! I hope you enjoyed this week’s episode. I just wanted to leave you with some thoughts on all the fun (and drama) that went down.

For me, speed dating was such an awesome experience. As cliché as it might sound, I’ve really developed the attitude of getting the most out of every experience. Whether it’s going to Jewish singles camp, or dancing at the local bar, or yes, speed dating, I’m there to have a good time and just see what it’s all about. I don’t think you can really get to know someone if they are nervous or uncomfortable, so I was trying to make the guys feel more at ease. It really doesn’t matter whether I was into any of them or not, I know that they came to speed dating to find someone special. It’s totally inappropriate to ask them weird sexual questions, belittling their time and their intentions. If I had been asked those inappropriate and awkward questions I probably would have left and never tried speed dating again. Character is very important, so I am still embarrassed by the behavior that went on with the offensive comments. I wasn’t raised that way and I have a difficult time tolerating it from anyone else. 

I got on the defensive with Joey because she is constantly putting me down. Whether it’s my family (sorry, I love them), my appearance (really? I can’t even handle middle school antagonizing), or my flirting style (again, why would I take advice from someone who is my age and single?), Joey is relentless in her attacks. When I try to have a conversation with her, she turns it around and makes it all about her. There was no reason for her to leave the conversation -- I was simply expressing my feelings. Her relentless antagonizing of me gets old, but she was also doing it to these guys. I won’t stand for someone putting others down. She makes it clear that she sees no value in our friendship when she won’t even hear me out. 

I went to the event feeling completely detached from my previous fight with Joey. I knew she would be there, but had no intentions of bringing up my ill feelings. We were all talking and laughing before the fight that night, so I was surprised to hear that she “wasn’t going to give me the right time of day.” But I appreciate her compliment that my hair looked good! I will never understand her need to put everyone down. Why? Because I’m close with my parents? Because I have nice things? I never fight with anyone else. That’s just not the type of person I am. When I hear that Chanel is in a verbal fight, I go straight into panic mode. I’ve been very upfront about how I feel about my friends, and I will defend them no matter what. Not wanting her to stand alone, I jumped into see if Chanel was OK and then attempted to diffuse the situation. I didn’t want the party ruined, so I thought that if Chanel only talked to Amanda and her mom the situation might simmer down. Too many people inside trying to get in the middle was just adding fuel to the fire, so Amanda asked me to get everyone to go outside. The owner of the salon, Scott, was so upset because he was just about to make his speech. That entire scene was already so chaotic and everyone was so upset that when Joey pushed me aside and tried to get involved, I was furious. It honestly had nothing to do with the “Mama Dukes,” it was just that my emotions were already running so high. Chanel was my main concern the entire time because that’s what being a friend means to me. Joey and I have a long history of her making snide comments and specifically putting me down, that our little altercation was almost inevitable. 

Those that judge others and put others down to make themselves feel superior are usually the ones with the most insecurities or the most to hide. I think it is so important to continually surround myself with people who bring out the best in me. That’s what friendship is about. That’s all for now! Hope everyone has an amazing week! Follow me @AshleeWhite23 and LIKE my fan page. 

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