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Chanel: It's My Shabbat and I'll Cry If I Want to!
Chanel explains how difficult it is to be in the middle of her friends' arguments.
Another amazing episode of Princesses: LI but so many emotions to address in this blog, my Bravo readers!
I cried, laughed, and definitely danced the episode away!
I genuinely wanted all the girls to enjoy Shabbat and have a great weekend with me since we are all going through our own struggles. It's hard watching your best friend cry and be upset by another one of your long time friends.
I understand where Casey is coming from when she confronts Erica about her feelings, and I am proud of Casey that she expressed herself to her. Erica needs to understand that she needs to give Casey time and understand what her father did to her mother and be compassionate with her feelings before she expects for Casey to be all lovey dovey besties because that takes time to rebuild and trust!
I am proud of Erica for stepping up, owning that she screwed up and hurt Casey. I am happy she is trying to get on the same page with Casey. It's tough to do, but I genuinely want my friends to get along and I always want to be there for my friends and do not want to disappoint any of them. I have a special bond with each of them and we are all going to go through our highs and our lows. That's just life. It's about overcoming our obstacles with one another and moving forward with each other for the better.
I was so happy to see Amanda and Jeff because I knew we would laugh so hard together and they cut out the tension, but this time with a challah knife!
Sometimes I feel torn because I always feel uncomfortable when there is confrontation, especially between two of my friends. Ever since I was in middle school I couldn't handle being in the middle of two of my friends fighting. I always had a hard time telling them I didn't want to be involved. I always tried avoiding the situation, but this weekend was definitely not avoidable and It was one of my growing up moments that I had to face. It's never easy being in the middle of a fight between your two friends. But sometimes you need to drink a little Manischewitz, cry, and dance to solve the equation.
I've been through a lot with Erica over the years, and we have had our ups and downs with one another. We have had so much history together and it's hard to let our friendship go even though I have been hurt by her.
I just wish she didn't do this over the weekend I planned so hard to put together! Sometimes I feel like she doesn't realize how hard I work to put things together and doesn't have regard for my feelings.
I was happy to see both Casey and Erica express their feelings to one another. I think their might be hope for a possible friendship in the near future if Erica changes her ways and really shows Casey she has changed.
I was relieved when we went out to the social club in the afternoon to have fun with my girls! Just to be clear, Ashlee and I have the best time together when we are around cute guys! I have a certain sense of humor when it comes to meeting guys, and to my knowledge, a guy will go for you if he sees you have a sense of humor and you're being yourself.
That's what Ashlee was doing -- she was being herself and I always encourage her to be herself when it comes to men.That's how you get the "The One" -- when you are funny, being yourself, and not always having to play the game. If he didn't like our sense of humor and couldn't keep up with our jokes and have fun than he wasn't the right guy for Ashlee! Ashlee needs a guy who will embrace how funny she is ,and I need a guy who will embrace how funny I am because we are two hot funny JPS (Jewish Princesses)
Also, I was being sarcastic about taking that guy, Vince's, lines! I guess I got excited to meet men for all of us and wanted to make light of the situation especially after the tension we faced over the weekend. I never condone any guy being disrespectful to women, especially to my girls! I thought he was so out of line that I just had to make fun of the situation because it was so ridiculous... Note to self: never give someone like that the time of day. No man should be disrespecting a woman even if they are joking. Casey was on the money when it comes to men like Vince. I would never take a guy like that seriously. I would never date a guy like that. I was just trying to make light of the situation, but I agree 100 percent with Casey that it's not right for men like that to be vulgar as he was even if it was a joke.
I had so much fun when we went out to the club because life is so hard at times and we are all dealing with our own stress factors! It's nice to just go out, dance, and let loose! I love to dance and if my dance moves can put a smile on my girls' faces then its all worth it to me.
I tend to be really hard on myself when people aren't having fun, especially when I invite them to my house for the weekend. I take pride in being an amazing host who wants to make sure my guests are enjoying themselves to the fullest! I think I get it from my mamma.... I have to stop putting so much pressure on myself to make everyone happy all the time. You can't please everyone even if you try. Trust me I already have tried and no success yet.
I realized that I can't get involved in anyone's drama or fights because it never ends well. Sometimes, it's best to keep out of it. I feel like I am always worried about everyone else and no one is concerned about my feelings. We are all adults and need to act like adults. I get frustrated when I am expected to be the mother of the group. Like AB says it best: "We already have a Jewish motha, we don't need another." Ha! Trust me, I don't want to be a mother just yet. I still have a few more years!It's really disturbing for me to watch Erica keep drinking and act the way she did because I only want the best for her, and I want her to understand that the reason the girls, including myself, get upset with her is because she doesn't know when to stop and then starts acting like a different person, which in turn hurts people's feelings around her. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I know she has potential to be the amazing person I know she is.
I do understand Erica's frustration about feeling like everyone is always on top of her all the time and her feeling not good enough. I have been at that point in my life where everyone is on top of me for everything and doesn't let me be myself. Many times, I've felt like I wasn't good enough or I needed to escape reality, but drinking and/or being destructive in any way isn't the answer. It never should be the answer! We need to be strong and find it in ourselves to forgive ourselves for what we have done to others and what we have done to ourselves and move on and better ourselves. That's all we can do.
It makes me realize that bringing Casey and Erica together for a weekend happened for a reason. I was touched to hear Casey say to me that maybe she was brought here as a sign from G-d to see that Erica is going through a lot and might need help. That is what real friends do for one another. Casey knows and understands how difficult the situation with Erica is for me, and she wants to help her and help me help her because sometimes we can't just rescue someone on our own. Sometimes we have to take a step back and help those in need, instead of kicking someone down while they are down.
That's what I love most about my group of friends: we help each other when the going gets tough and rough despite any issues we might have with one another. We all have our own issues we deal with, and none of us are perfect. I really did feel like a failure that it didn't turn out to be the best weekend. All I wanted to do was make everyone happy, and thought the girls would appreciate me and try to put all their issues aside and respect the fact that I went through all this trouble just for them to enjoy a relaxing weekend.
I worked really hard and yes, I do work!! for those of you who don't think I ever had a job in my life, I have worked since I was 14 years old. I work full time and very hard for my money. I saved money to plan this amazing weekend for the girls and just wanted some peace.
It's really hard to get involved in your friends' issues. I love each and every one of them, and I just want the best for them. I don't want them to fight. I want them to let go of things and be more forgiving. I tend to forgive because I realized that forgiving others makes your soul more content and makes for a better way of life, a healthier way of life, and a peaceful life, at least for me.
Until next Sunday night! Follow me on Twitter @chanelomari and get the latest on me and my princesses!