Joey: Show Me 30!

So, when I am feeling vulnerable, I have a tendency to lead with my slightly sinister sense of humor. Obviously, speed dating is not for me. It is too structured and too unnatural for me -- it’s just not how I like to meet people. I’m better when left to my own devices. Sitting down as if at a job interview to learn about someone’s core only makes me want to crack jokes… and inappropriate ones at that! Sorry I’m not a brownie or cookie type of gal. I went into the speed dating process with zero expectations of meeting anyone, so I took it as an opportunity to entertain myself instead! Like Ashlee says, “If someone can’t take my jokes they can kiss my a--”. 

By the way, Ashlee, just because you don’t like my behavior does not make me “trash.” I will never be something that needs to be disposed of. Your vocabulary, on the other hand, does need some recycling. I may be a lot of things, but your “laundry list” doesn’t hit any one of them accurately. I’m sure Casey can help you with choosing more intelligent words to describe your obvious disdain towards me.  

Back to speed dating. I really wish Chanel was able to attend with us because I could have really used her sense of humor and disarming manner with us as a group. I was really shocked at how Casey was to me that night, especially given that earlier that day, Casey and I had a really a nice lunch together. Between lunch and speed dating, something happened -- I somehow became invisible I guess! Perhaps she slipped something in my lunch to make me invisible. Anyway, if and when a friend of mine decides not to like me, please just send me a BBM, email, txt, or tweet @Joey_Lauren, because I apparently can’t tell from facial expressions (or lack thereof).  

What I can tell you however is that the only reason I try and take the high road with them is for Chanel’s sake. I know that Chanel really cares about the group and wants everyone to get along. But it’s getting really hard for me to keep biting my tongue as you see with my #MamaDukes line. At that point, there was no respectable way for me to tell Ashlee to hush it! She was acting like a little kid who constantly interrupts their parents’ conversations.  

Amanda came to me practically convulsing with so much worry. I needed to be there for her -- she is a good businesswoman, and I appreciate that and look out for like kind. Once I saw that Chanel was out of harm’s way, Amanda became my priority. The Aura Salon is a huge supporter of her company, and had they not been so kind and understanding, she could have lost the relationship for good, which would be horrible for all parties. Ashlee could have attended to the 15 other people in the salon, but no, she came right for me, even though I was talking with the host of the party! Really, who does she think she is?! #MamaDukes!Chanel removing herself from the situation instead of going to war was the right call because that woman was gunning for her. I do not condone physical violence, but when forced to defend myself, I do what I have to do. And when push comes to shove, or “snunge," (see the LI dictionary for definition!), as it did that night, I will protect the people I love. And probably some people I don’t, to be honest! I’m simply not one to stand by and watch another person get hurt. Lucky for me, my dad taught me how to box as a kid, and I have a pretty good right hook! I have to give a shout-out to Erica, who took one for the team as the human shield. Watching that play back had me on the floor laughing!

So what did we learn from tonight’s episode? 

First off, I think it's time Ashlee and I have a sit-down and hash out our issues with one another. We used to be friends, and I'm not sure how we ran so very far off course, but I'm a big believer in communication, even if it’s agreeing that the friendship no longer suits either of us. You'll have to tune in next week to see if I actually get the nerve to have that conversation!