WOW! A lot to discuss here my Bravo readers.... As you can see, we have went through a lot of drama, and it was finally the day of rest, aka, the Sabbath! so it was time to give it a rest and plan a fun weekend for me and my girls in the Hamptons. I knew how much the girls and I were going through between our families, love lives, and friendship drama, and let's not forget the POOL PARTY, that I went out of my way to plan a fun-filled relaxing weekend for the girls. I actually do work and saved my own money to rent the house for the weekend because it was important for me to have the ladies experience the peace and positive energy and true meaning of the Sabbath.
Speaking of the pool party, I am giving Joey kudos for owning up to bringing RGB to the pool party and for being sensitive to Amanda's feelings! KolHa Kavod is how we would say it in Hebrew: "Kudos to you, with all due respect. It takes a lot to own something and apologize for it, but luckily in our group of friends and within our culture, it's about forgiveness that allows us to move forward. I am proud of how AB (Amanda, my nickname for her) handled herself with Joey. This is what a princess is all about. Hitting rock bottom, but picking yourself right back up, humbling yourself, owning your actions, bettering yourself, and accepting people's apologies! I am all about communication, especially when it comes to relationships. We all come from different backgrounds, different upbringings. We experience different things in life, and we all need to hear each other out and talk things out in order to better ourselves.
There is so much anti-semitism in the world and it happens within our own culture, that it's important for me to have my girls and I stick together and not let anyone come in between us or separate us. We need to embrace one another as women and as Jews, regardless of what genre of Judaism we come from. I die for my dad and think he is the funniest person ever! I laugh so hard when he says "It's only two days" because he is so right! I felt like I was back in freshman year of high school, when he was waiving bye to me, and I was scared to leave him and enter a the big H. My dad is my rock and is my everything. He has always been my biggest supporter when I was going through hard times, and he always knows how to make me laugh. He encourages me and inspires me to be a better person, and I learn a lot from him. My dad has always taught me not to judge anyone and to always believe in yourself.
My favorite part of the party bus was the pole and when Ashlee started blushing when we were talking about masturbation. Ha! She is so adorable and delicious and hilarious! If I were a guy, I would just eat her face right up! It actually made me laugh so hard. Thank G-d for laughter!
Can we talk about my 'fro and payot (which is called sideburns in Yiddish/Hebrew) for a hot minute?! At Ashlee's house and at the gay club?! I was a HOT mess… the humidity on LI is the one thing I can't deal with because I always need to keep up with my luscious mane, and the weather was not helping a sista out that night! Please stay tuned for better hair and makeup looks. I love rocking diff styles and can't wait to share them with you all! It's all about being you and rocking what makes you feel most confident!
Finally, the reason this episode is one of my favorites is because the world gets to finally meet my amazing best friend, Casey Cohen, and I love getting all my friends together, and I want all of them to be close. I knew Ashlee and Casey would fall in love just like I fell in love with each of them separately. I always have the best time with my girls wherever we are, especially at gay night. I had the best time! It feels so liberating to go out and have fun and not have to care about what people think of you and feel accepted for you, and that's how i felt at Hudson Terrace gay night. I felt like, for once in my life, I could just be me and let loose and have fun! Love my gays!
I was so happy that Ashlee got to meet Casey because Casey is so inspiring as a human being to me. She brings me back to reality when I feel like I get caught up in the Long Island mess, and we both have the same views, morals, and outlook on life. We know what really matters, and she says it all in this episode! Who would have thought such a physically beautiful person such as herself could be so beautiful on the inside as well? They don't make women like her anymore! Both Ashlee and Casey have taught me that a man should always treat you like a princess, and every time I do go through my ups and downs with the men I date, I always have my girls to lean on!Shabbat aka the Sabbath is meant to bring people together and be peaceful with one another. I really want for all my friends to try and get along with one another, and I hoped that this weekend would bring us closer. I also wanted for Casey and Erica to hash things out and really express their feelings to one another, and hoped we could move on and have enjoy each other's company. I was raised to always try and keep shalom, which means peace in Hebrew, between two friends who aren't getting along or do not see eye to eye on certain things. It was a tough situation for me because I did want all my friends there, especially Casey, but I also wanted to let everyone know what was up from the get-go so there were no surprises.
One of the reasons why I made sure everyone was included was because in 7th grade -- one of the toughest years because you are in your most awkward stages -- I was left out and bullied a lot, and as the years went by and I became more confident in myself, I always told myself, no matter what, I would never leave a friend out of anything because of how hurt I was back then. I definitely forgave those girls and found peace within me, and that is why I was able to move on, and till this day, when I see them I will never forget what they did to me and that is OK, but I forgave and that's what's important. It's about forgiveness because once you can forgive, you can really be at peace with yourself and that other person.
I do feel what Erica did to Casey was wrong no matter how long ago it was. It wasn't about timing or the guy. It was about still having no regard for Casey's feelings at the time whether they were friends or not. I thought this weekend was an opportunity for Erica to pull Casey aside and apologize to her about what she did in high school and express how she wants a friendship with Casey, so that we can all move on and be at peace with one another, but Erica didn't own it or apologize for it, and that's why they aren't on the same page and will never be, unless Erica owns up to it. Believe me, I want them to get on the same page and get along, but I also can't force someone to realize the difference between wrong and right. Sometimes we have to learn that things are just out of our control.
At the end of the day, it's OK to make mistakes, but it's about fixing those mistakes and apologizing to the person for what they did wrong, and that's what makes a better person, and I wish Erica could just take my advice!
I also know how much this has hurt Casey, and I wanted her to feel like she could express herself, whether it was to me and/or to Erica herself because I am all about trying to make things better and trying to make peace between two of my friends.Even though I wish it didn't happen at the Sabbath table, I still support Casey and understood her position in all of this. I also wish Erica didn't bring up ex-boyfriends at the table because maybe we could have avoided the messiness. I am also happy that Casey decided to show up and experience Shabbat because it's important for me to show my girls the traditions we do, since it's part of all of our roots. It also showed me how important our friendship is to Casey because she put everything aside and came to the Hamptons to enjoy Shabbat dinner with me, despite her issues with Erica.
It hurts me to watch Casey talk about her dad leaving her mother for another woman because A) I don't like watching my friend in pain or upset and B) I know what it feels like. My ex-bf left me for his 19-year-old ex-gf. Stay tuned for more on that. One of the hardest things I have had to go through in my life.
However, I can't imagine being single at 29 years old, taking care of a child at the same time, and your husband leaving you for another woman, and that is why I am so inspired by mama Fran's (Casey's mother) strength and wisdom! I don't think Erica understands that the issue that lies between her and Casey runs deeper than her just snatching her ex-bf 10 years ago. And this is why they can't get on the same page.
I do not feel it's my place to explain all of this to Erica. Sometimes I feel like a mediator can help the situation, and that is why I tried to get them together and hoped that they can speak about the real issue at hand and hoped that they can resolve it.
I tried my best to bring some fun and humor to this weekend, because as Jeff (AB'S bf) says it best: "THERE IS SO MUCH TENSION YOU CAN CUT IT WITH A KNIFE."
Casey is a very rational, intelligent, open-minded person with a big heart -- she would have heard Erica out, if Erica took her aside after dinner and approached her in the right manner. Casey isn't holding a grudge for 10 years… she just wants to hear an apology and a change in someone who has hurt her in order for her to move on with a possible friendship with Erica. Obviously I want the best for both of them, and I do want them to come to a silver lining with one another.I am a carefree person, and I tend to forgive and tend to "brush it off my shoulders," as Jay-Z would say, who is by the by my favorite hip hop/rapper artist! Note to self… just speak up, get real, and be honest with everyone involved, and also be confident and firm in what you believe in, whether it's your argument or not. Being a good friend to someone is sometimes telling them the harsh truth and telling them their wrongdoings so they can fix them, but it's all about how you tell them and the way to approach it.
It broke my heart watching my best friend cry the way she did and express her past and feelings about her father out in the open like that. I know it was hard for her to do, and I am proud of her and think she is one of the most courageous women I know. It's healthy to be vulnerable and express yourself to friends. That's life. Nothing is perfect! It's hard watching both your friends cry and seeing how much pain they both are experiencing. I know Erica deep down inside regrets what she did and feels bad that she has jeopardized a potential friendship with Casey. I have such a big heart that I understand both of them and want them to both work it out.
I did feel bad that Erica was crying and felt uncomfortable at my weekend home because I never want anyone to feel uncomfortable in my home, especially if I invited them. I didn't want anyone to cry or have drama. I wanted it to be a peaceful weekend and have time with all my girls, since we are all so busy working during the week. It was a chance for us to really have fun!
It was definitely hard for me to bring up the Hamptons weekend to Casey, knowing that there was an issue between her and Erica, but I didn't really understand how intense it really we were all in the same room together.
It was really hard for me to actually watch Erica not owning her actions because I knew how much she wanted to get along with Casey. I also don't condone what she did 10 years ago, however, I do think she can make a change once she owns it to Casey. It's about owning your actions whether you think you are right or wrong and apologizing to the person if they felt hurt by you. I was always raised to go that path. I hope Erica learns from this, and I hope I do inspire her to be a better friend and person because I do know that she has a good heart, and she shouldn't let her mistake get the best of hers and Casey's potential relationship.
Until next time, have a piece of challah for good luck!