MJ's Denial is Truly Destructive

Going into the reunion, I felt nothing but excitement and I truly felt right at home in that room. There's something about gilded furniture, crystal chandeliers, and extravagant spreads that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Seeing the rest of the Shahs, regardless of where we are at with one another still makes me feel great. With that said, I decided that reunion day would be about one thing and one thing only, THE TRUTH! Specifically speaking, I would stop enabling MJ and I'd finally confront her about her abuse of alcohol and pills. She has been on a smear campaign trying to convince others that my use of the words "bitch" and "ho" is inexcusable. She even brought up the fact that I had referred to my mother as such. In my heart I know that I love and adore my mother. I fancy myself a comedian and have always used those words to be funny in interviews. I won't lie I do crack myself up. As soon as MJ brought up that fact, I realized what she was trying to do. I couldn't take it and replied that I might refer to my mother as such, but that her mother was a bitch and a ho. It wasn't my finest hour, but I couldn't take another moment of MJ's "smoke and mirror" tactics. Plus, you guys have seen her mother, enough said.

Denial is truly a destructive emotion and regardless of where MJ is at, we all know and have witnessed her excessive use of drugs and alcohol. People all around us from fans to the production staff have at one time or another, mentioned the fact that MJ appears "out of it." The saddest part of the pill conversation to me was her attempt at describing the best way to use Ambien. Mike's support of MJ just perpetuates the cycle and she'll continue to be enabled. I was disappointed that he wasn't honest. Like Asa said, it's really scary when a 40 year old woman is asleep in the hallway of a hotel. That's not just unacceptable behavior, it's dangerous.

When we got to the feud between GG and Asa, I had to tune it out. I couldn't listen to GG refer to one of my closest friends as "that thing." It's beyond disappointing and pretty shocking that GG still cannot be accountable for the problems she's caused. To top it off, she went on about her use of prescription pills, which actually explains a lot. I spent so much time and energy trying to bring Asa and GG together and to hear that the solution for the situation in GG's eyes is a "bare knuckle boxing match," was deplorable.

Lilly has been a breath of fresh air. Having her in the group this summer helped to lighten my mood and distract me from MJ's hardcore partying. Heyvoon-bazi is one thing, but passing out in hotel hallways takes it to a dark place. The fact that Lilly was met with so much opposition was difficult for me, but to hear that MJ was blaming Asa and I for her situation with Lilly was laughable -- another example of MJ's unwillingness to be responsible for her actions. Lilly had finally had it and confronted MJ with facts and documentation, even MJ had to face the facts and actually gave Lilly an apology. I have to say that that was one of the best moments of the reunion for me.

The one thing that I'd like the viewers to remember, is that we are living our lives in front of the world. I'm at the end of my rope and don't want to she MJ overdose or even die, that would be unbearable. If I have to be the "bad guy" or the "mean one," I'm happy with those titles as long as my friend is alive and well. That's all I want. I can't sit by and watch MJ self-destruct.

I hope you guys have enjoyed watching us as much as we've enjoyed hearing from all of you. I hope you have an amazing week and remember that there's nothing more important in life than your health. Take care of yourself first and then help your loved ones.

Love and booses!