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MJ: Flowers Come From Guilty Men

MJ thinks it might be best she didn't go to Lilly's birthday party.

By Mercedes MJ Javid

I love the season beginning with the once blooming bromance between my boys Reza and Mike at the Porsche dealership. They would definitely have to travel far outside in order to truly find a great deal on a Porche. For the record, that is REZA's HAIR, au natural, sans gel, not a wig. It's really cute when he wears his hair that way, because its his way of saying he's tired, on vacation, or "just can't right now."  

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Catch up on Shahs of Sunset on the Bravo App.

Vida and me. Sigh. I love my mom.  What happened to the phrase, "It's like a riding a bike... once you learn, you never forget how???" This is another thing that makes Vida so unique -- she actually did forget how to ride a bike. I thought her willingness to try something that she's not comfortable with was adorable, risking crocodile's et al. Her naiveté cracks me up. Asking, or maybe demanding that Vida try to tap into her inner Cyndi Lauper is my way clever new method to inspire her to lighten up and try to have fun. P.S. Nothing thus far would stop me from working on my relationship with my mom.  

When I received Lilly's EVITE, I truly considered it the equivalent of backyard BBQ, come one, come all. However, for a formal event, an invitation with RSVP cards to return is more appropriate, especially if the party thrower desires an accurate headcount. Who does Lilly think she is trying to fool? Her favorite thing to do is to lecture the world on how to show class, but maybe she should have budgeted for a party planner. It looks like she spent it on her four dress changes, which to me, is embarrassing. Bottom line, she attempted to use her party as a grand, public insult toward me. Why else would she go from one extreme, to invite me and to sit at her table to then flip to the extreme, "I'm actually going to make she won't even get in."


I love Golnesa. I love spending time with her. She is one of the few people I like to spend time with in the world. She is one of the most non-judgmental, devoted friends, and we have the best of times together. I'm really glad that she brought up the question of how I'm planning to refute the false and vicious rumors of having a drug or alcohol problem. If I didn't defend myself sufficiently in the past, I'm saying it here now, that while I do enjoy an adult beverage, or three, I drink responsibly, during social occasions or vacations, not during a work day, and not excessively to a point that its anyone else's business. On that note, I'm also not a bank robber, never was.  I'm not an addict, I never was. I am a little bit of a hoarder. I'm guilty as sin of holding on to expensive clothes that are too small for me. Also, how do I know that white, leather, nautical Prada book bag isn't going to save the day one afternoon in spring?

Michael joon's Jessica joon is taking conversion classes. I got one question, two words, "Got ring?"

It warmed my heart to see my friends missing me at the party, and clearly, they stepped up to have my back. But when I saw the way the party went down, I'm  glad a guardian angel was looking out -- I really wouldn't have fit in to that type of crowd. We're Persian and our parties have a pulse; they're not pageants with self-appointed prom queens. 

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