I struggle to write this week's blog knowing half the Bravosphere is tweeting me evil comments from last night's episode. All I can say is that I've been through worse, and despite the toils of my friendships, my priority is to stand up and take less shit from people around me. I love my friends, but I can't take abuse without fighting back for what I believe. Our friendship dynamic is extremely complicated. Our emotions run high when we we're faced with taking sides against each other. Bottom line: we feel loyal to one another, but being honest with each comes at a cost.
In the situation where Shawn ogled other girls at the club, I felt insulted by his behavior. Emotionally, I was equally as offended as if it were my man who was eye f---ing other girls, and I felt it to be hurtful and extremely disrespectful. Shawn traveled to Las Vegas and New York a lot and GG was always questioning his loyalty to her. When I said what I said to him, in my mind, at that moment, I was sticking up for her, by taking a dig at him. I thought he deserved it, and that my comment was one-upping his stares. But right after I said that, I saw that it totally backfired, at which point I realized I meddled counter-productively, and I removed myself from the situation.
When Reza comes over to discuss the other night, it's obvious that my mischief was a mistake, and as much I meant to make nothing more than a playful stab at Shawn for acting "douche" toward her, she wasn't laughing with me, and I ended up being the douche. And she took it and ran with it, and accused me of having malicious intent, which I did not at all have. I felt as betrayed by GG, for having my loyalty taken into question so easily. All of a sudden, even though I acknowledged, was honest, fully owned it, and apologized for a momentary lapse of reason, she made a capital case out of it, and it was as though I was never a good friend in all our years of loyalty. Our loyalty which ran both ways. Suddenly, my funds in the bank of GG were depleted to zero. For me, that created something even bigger, it spoke volumes for how much she can f--- up and how I was not given the benefit of the doubt.
About Leila. I am extremely happy I was called upon to help Leila clean up this painful and complicated mess that her divorce has caused her. I have seen firsthand that she is an AMAZING, uber present, loving, and devoted mother; and has really kept it together as a mother through the worst night mare of divorce with a young daughter and an infant son, Nico and Jordan. When Golnesa comes over to try and arm chair quarter back GG, I find it laughable. She is not in any way involved in grown-up business affairs, and certainly not her sister's process through determining if she should sell or lease the house. Leila and her husband had the stressful burden of litigating between selling or leasing the property in a down market, and as a non greedy realtor, I encouraged them to make the most sound, financially benficial decision. You'll see more of what I mean, as the season unfolds, both my work ethic and friendship ethic.
Best line of the episode is from Leila: I heard MJ put both Lilly in a box and shipped her back to Texas. Comic relief.