It's been really difficult for me to blog for the past two weeks. This summer was such a transformational time in my life, and although it's been months since we were in Turkey, the issues I was dealing with were decades old and the wounds ran deep. Watching the episodes for me put me back into that time and place, and these past two weeks have been a serious time for reflection. I'm not sure how everyone in the circle feels about our journey to Turkey, but I will be eternally grateful for the trip, because I closed a very old and long chapter of my life. Turkey gave me the closure that I needed, as well as a deeper appreciation for what I have. I came home and reevaluated all of my relationships; my relationship with Adam, with my family, with my friends, and with my business associates. Some relationships grew stronger and others were terminated. I felt completely empowered, and this leads me into the conversation of turning forty and, as you've now seen, Adam and I getting engaged.[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/select/MW_XvvXlzyWU?form=html]Turning forty was mentally difficult for me. I started to compare and contrast my achievements and place in life against my friends and family. Being gay, there really wasn't a road map for a future. I had to lay the stones on my road brick by brick. I came to the realization that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
I started looking at Adam differently and I knew that it was time to let him know how important he is to me. I was on the phone with Asa and I mentioned something about getting Adam a “promise ring.” The next thing I heard was a barrage of insults from her. Asa told me that my overgrown forty-year-old ass should be ashamed: "Are you a teenager in high school?” She told me to man up and step up to the plate. She asked me if I loved Adam, and if I thought he was the one. I replied yes to both. I had always kept one foot in and one foot out, always keeping an exit route and my options open. Her words worked, and I took them to heart. I went out and bought Adam a Cartier Love Ring. All of a sudden my birthday, which is the best day of my life, became about Adam. I had already rented this insane mansion in Palm Springs and all of my closest friends would be there. I decided that I would ask Adam in front of the people that got me to the place where I was able to ask the man I love to spend the rest of his life with me. I'm a lucky man, he said yes.
That weekend is a fog of laughter and love. We enjoyed each other's company having fun in the sun, and I came home as an engaged forty-year-old man. As we were driving home my thoughts wandered back to that question I had asked myself earlier, had I reached a place in life to be proud of? YES! I'm truly blessed and have nothing but gratitude for where I am. I thank you for watching and sharing in one of my proudest moments. I truly didn't think that marriage was in the cards for me, and the fact that it's actually legal in my state gives me goose bumps. I appreciate each of my friends, who are essentially family to me, for sharing in my 40th birthday celebration, which turned into our engagement party.