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Tamra's Family Didn't Teach Her Empathy
Tamra explains her family's sarcastic ways, why she didn't get a prenup, and why she won't uninvite Alexis.
Summer is over and school is back in session! Yesterday was the first day of school for my kids and it's always such an exciting day for everyone, especially us moms. Sidney is in ninth grade (high school), Spencer is in eighth grade (middle school), and Sophia is in third grade (elementary). That's a whole lot of driving every morning and afternoon.
Finding bridesmaids dresses in a short period of time was not easy. I looked at many stores around town and online to find an off-the-rack dress that the girls would like. I was determined to find blush colored dresses in different styles to fit each girls body type. After several days of unsuccessful shopping, I decided to go to this boutique in LA that looked amazing online. When we got there I was very disappointed.
I admit I was a little Bridezilla after driving all the way to LA to find out the store was a total bust. We had only two weeks to find dresses and get them altered and at this rate I was getting nervous. After talking to the amazing Diann Valentine I knew she was going to fix this mess we were in.
Diann and her assistant D Micah knew exactly what I was looking for and brought over Vera Wang blush colored dresses, They were beautiful and everyone loved their dresses.
The talk about prenup came up, and I guess everyone disagrees with me? Maybe I am old fashioned or maybe we are just crazy in love, but neither of us were interested in a prenup. I feel like it is planning your divorce! I get how some people will disagree with me and that's OK. To each their own. I have been married twice and both times I walked away from my marriage with my kids and what I came into my marriage with -- and I have always survived. In my last divorce we both waved alimony and neither one pays child support to the other. Eddie and I are not going to have children, but we do have CUT Fitness together. Let's just say we are both legally covered when it come our business.
I asked Gretchen to come over because we were in a weird place in our friendship and had not talked for months. I wanted to invite her to the wedding but I wasn't sure she wanted to go. A few months before my wedding she had proposed to Slade and did not invite any of the ladies and didn't even call or text us to let us know she was engaged. That alone made me feel like our friendship meant nothing to her. So I guess you can understand why I was confused. In the end it all worked out and she attended, but I never got the RSVP.
Word of advice, always return your RSVP. If one is missing it can throw everything off!
I was a little shocked when Eddie told me he didn't want Gretchen or the Bellinos attending our wedding. You have to understand that Eddie is looking at this logically and through #RHOC glasses. He did not want any drama at the wedding -- and every time the ladies got together he hears about the drama from me. He honestly has nothing against any of them. It had more to do with the fact that we had a very short guest list due to our budget and he wanted to make sure that we invited close friends and family only. There was no way I was going to uninvite anyone to our wedding. I knew after he thought about it he would understand and do the right thing.
Dinner with the family was not what I expected and exactly what I was worried about.
First off, I would like to say that I love my family and I have never said that they are horrible people. My mother and father had me when they were 16 years old. My father has always been a hard worker and my mother a homemaker. I was never physically abused in any way. All I am saying is we lived in a household with little commutation and never hearing the words I love you. Did I know they loved me? Sure I knew they loved me. My parents taught me a lot of things in life, but communication, empathy, and love were not on that list.
My brother and I fought like cats and dogs growing up. We learned to show love by making fun of each other. Sarcasm was our form of showing love. As adults we have gotten closer and I would do anything for him and his family. But I can see pain in his eyes and it hurts me.
I am very excited for everyone to see my our wedding, it was so beautiful and magical. Eddie and I will be on WWHL right after the wedding.