Certain things just come naturally to Real Housewives: shopping, drinking, gossiping, and...feuding! Over the course of this year, the stars of our franchises brought no shortage of drama. From the shocking Giudice-Gorga family rift to the cross-country beef between Joanna-Yolanda-Brandi, we've compiled the most explosive moments from 2013.
Joanna, Adriana and the "Limp Penis"
It's no secret Joanna Krupa and Romain Zago's sex life isn't exactly hot and heavy, but we never expected Adriana de Moura to weigh in with what the problem might be. At this year's The Real Housewives of Miami reunion, she attacked Romain's masculinity by saying she would never sleep with a man who had a "limp penis."
The Housewives of Miami and Beverly Hills Collide
It isn't often that our Housewives feuds cross into different zip codes, but leave it to Brandi Glanville to make that happen. At the Real Housewives of Miami reunion, Joanna addressed comments that Brandi made to Adriana: Brandi claimed Joanna had an affair with Mohamed Hadid, Yolanda Foster's husband at the time. Joanna denied it, saying she and Mohamed are only friends. But then Brandi fired back during an appearance on WWHL, and claimed that Mohamed told her that Joanna had a smelly, well...
Kenya Gets In NeNe's Face
NeNe Leakes invited her Real Housewives of Atlanta costar Kenya Moore to her wedding. And while Kenya didn't attend, her ex-boyfriend Walter did, which didn't fly with Kenya. So when the ladies crossed paths, things went downhill faster than you can say "Gone with the Wind Fabulous."
Lisa Hochstein Calls Joanna Krupa a Whore
It was a Panic on the Party Bus when Lisa Hochstein called Joanna Krupa a whore. And it went over just as well as you would have guessed: "She calls me a whore?" Joanna fired back. "She sure knows how to use that stripper pole."
Brandi Glanville Confronts Scheana Marie
Brandi Glanville may not have expected to come face-to-face with her ex-husband's former mistress Scheana Marie one night. But when the Vanderpump Rules crew showed up to cater Kyle Richards' party for the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce, Brandi couldn't resist getting a little dig in at Scheana, who had slipped and cracked her two front teeth. Wearing a temporary replacement, Scheana was a bit insecure about her appearance, which was only made worse by Brandi's question as to why her tooth was gray.
Yolanda and Taylor Have a Rocky Start
When Lemon Queen Yolanda Foster and Taylor Armstrong first met, the two didn't quite hit it off. Taylor was close friends with Yolanda's current husband's ex-wife, which made for a few sticky situations. But clearly Yolanda wasn't willing to deal with Taylor's attitude. "Don't talk about my husband," said Yolanda. "He's been great to all his ex-wives."
No Onion Rings in the Dubrow Household!
It's wasn't all marital bliss in Orange County this year, even for longtime couple Heather Dubrow and her husband Terry. The couple struggled with Heather's desire to get back to acting while caring for the couple's children. While the pair obviously worked everything out, let's just say there won't be any onion rings being eaten at Casa Dubrow anytime soon.
Everyone Gangs Up on Slade
Slade Smiley had trouble with the Real Housewives of Orange County ladies this season. Lydia McLaughlin had a hard time dealing with Slade's snide comments, particularly when he made fun of her tiny frame, referring to her as "Cheeseburger." Vicki Gunvalson also bore the brunt of his torment, particularly when he compared her to Miss Piggy. Yet she got up the courage to confront him at her Winter Wonderland Party—and presented him with her bacon-flavored vodka, which she created as an homage to his insult.
Atlanta Housewives Battle in Court
It was chaos in the courtroom for the ladies of Atlanta. Kandi Burruss was at odds with Kim Zolciak over their 2009 song "Tardy for the Party," and Kandi recently revealed she was taking Zolciak to court on the matter. Oh, and who represented Kandi in court? Lawyer and aspiring mortician Phaedra Parks!
Lea Feels Betrayed by Adriana
Former friends Adriana and Lea Black used to have a great relationship, but things soured once Lea found out Adriana had lied about her wedding. (She felt betrayed.) That didn't stop the Miami mamas from battling it out when they confronted each other face-to-face.
Carlton Gebbia vs...Everything!
Don't do the following things around new housewife Carlton: Kill bees, ask about her religion, and, in her own words, "(bleep) with my children's names." Gebbia's introduction to the RHOBH ladies didn't go so well, especially when they looked surprised to hear the unique names for her kids. Note taken!
Kenya vs. Conya
It was a 911 situation when Kenya's landlady, Conya, claimed she was past the deadline to vacate her rental house. The landlady called the police. The cops eventually showed up, and though luckily there was no brawl, we have a feeling Conya's description of the perp will burn Kenya forever: "Weaves, contacts, and implants."
Rosie Faces Off With Teresa
If there's one place you don't want to end up, it's on Rosie Pierri's bad side. So when Teresa Giudice sat down with her to discuss the war between the Gorgas and the Giudices, there was practically steam coming out of Rosie's ears—not to mention spilled drinks. "Let it out and be done with it!" Rosie said of how they should end their feud.
Ryan Culberson Explodes
Vicki Gunvalson's Winter Wonderland party seemed to start off innocently, but Ryan Culberson and Lydia McLaughlin's mother became the talk of the bash when they had a confrontation indoors. After Ryan caught Judy putting her feet up on the couch, he "felt disrespected" and flew off the rails.
Caroline Calls Teresa Superficial
Hell hath no fury like a Manzo scorned—that was especially clear at the RHONJ reunion, when Caroline flipped at Teresa, who was insulted that Caroline had called her "superficial." "I didn't attack you!" Caroline screams. "I made a simple observation over one moment in time--30 seconds of time--that you are now harping on until the day I freakin' die!"
Vicki and Lauri's War on the Slopes
Snow wasn't the only thing that was ice cold when the OC ladies went on a skiing trip. Vicki admitted to Gretchen Rossi that she and ex-husband Don had been unfaithful to each other, but when the news spun out of control and Lauri Waring Peterson claimed Vicki had actually multiple partners, the news did not sit well with Vicki. And she seized the opportunity to confront Lauri on the slopes.
Kenya Calls Phaedra Overweight
Kenya Moore and Phaedra Parks both released exercise videos recently, but Kenya couldn't help but harp on Phaedra, saying she was too overweight to make a fitness video. "You know what's real about me Phaedra? My Heart," said Kenya at the Atlanta reunion. "Sure," Phaedra replied. "Because your booty is made in Mexico." Props to NeNe for diffusing the situation—"I have to laugh at y'all!"—and her reaction to Kenya's fan-snap is priceless.
Malibu Country Drama
The drama over Malibu Country may have lasted longer than Malibu Country the TV show itself. So when Heather Dubrow scored a plum role on the now-defunct sitcom, the last thing she expected was to hear Gretchen claiming that she too was offered a spot next to Reba McIntyre.
Mama Joyce Threatens to Kick Carmon's Ass
Kandi Burruss may be planning to wed Todd Parker, but Mama Joyce is doing everything she can to stop it. She's accused Todd of using Kandi for financial gain, and she most recently alleged Kandi's best friend had an affair with Todd. So when Carmon showed up wedding dress shopping, Joyce flipped out, nearly threw a shoe, and needed to be restrained.
Lauri Spreads Lies About Vicki
The problems between Vicki Gunvalson and Lauri Waring Peterson run deep. Remember when Lauri worked for Vicki in Season 1? Well, that cameraderie has evaporated and when Lauri told Vicki that her ex-boyfriend Brooks had been with a friend of Lauri's daughter, who may or may not have a career in the adult film industry, Lauri enjoyed sharing the news a little too much.
The Gorgas vs. the Giudices
It was a modern day version of Shakespeare's Montagues and Capulets: the Gorgas and the Giudices struggled throughout Season 5 over rumors that Melissa was unfaithful to her husband Joe—rumors believed to have been perpetuated by Melissa's sister-in-law Teresa. The most heartbreaking moment of the feud: Melissa Gorga getting on her knees to beg Teresa to stop fueling rumors about her and Joe's marriage.
Joe Explodes at Joe
As if the fighting between Teresa and Melissa wasn't enough, the war between Joe Gorga and Joe Giudice erupted into a physical brawl during the same retreat.
Kyle Richards' White Party Drama
There's no better place for drama than Kyle's White Party. And when Adrienne Maloof and her then-husband Paul decided to sit down with Brandi Glanville regarding some of her statements about them, the entire Beverly Hills crew seemed to get involved.
Faye Resnick Disses Brandi Glanville
Post-split, Faye Resnick decided to go on the offense against Brandi, claiming that she was to blame for Adrienne Maloof's divorce. "No matter how many Chanel bags you have, you will never be a lady," Faye brutally told Brandi. But you have to hand it to Brandi for her comeback in the confessional.
Briana Explodes at Brooks
One of the most intense show-downs didn't even happen between Housewives stars at all: at the RHOC Season 8 Reunion, Vicki's daughter Briana confronted her mom's boyfriend Brooks Ayers—and presented evidence that proved Brooks told Briana's husband to beat her if she got out of line. Brooks apologized for his drunken comment, but the damage was already done.
What are your picks for most memorable Housewives feuds of the year? Tell us in the comments.
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