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Candiace Dillard Bassett was in the homestretch of planning for her wedding when we caught up with her at the start of this season of The Real Housewives of Potomac. But she saved one of the most difficult parts of the road to her nuptials for the end.
Just days before the ceremony, Candiace broke the news to her mother, Dorothy, that she had invited her half-brother, Michael, to her wedding. Michael is the son of Candiace's father, during a time when he had been unfaithful to Dorothy while in college (Candiace's parents would still go on to get married, but they ultimately divorced). That's why Candiace's mother expressed so much disappointment and hurt in her daughter's decision, resulting in a highly emotional, tear-filled moment between them in the RHOP Season 4 premiere, which you can view, above.
Candiace opened up to The Daily Dish earlier this week about why her half-brother will always remain a sensitive subject for her mother. "My mom is like, talk about being triggered by something, the mention of my half-brother Michael's name, like her head spins around. And it's mind-blowing to me that my brother is 38 years old, all of this time has passed, his entire life, and her reaction is as if she found out about him yesterday," she said.
"I always say, I always start with, I empathize, I understand as a woman, as someone who is now married, I would be devastated if my life took a turn like hers did and my husband had a tryst with another woman. But at some point you have to heal, you have to move forward, or you end up like some of us and you're carrying around these bags that affect the way that you're able to communicate," she added.
Candiace continued, "And I hurt for her, but I also just wish that we could get to a place where there was understanding that my intentions were never to hurt her or offend her, but only to do what I felt was right for me and my wedding day. This was not my mother's birthday, this was not her retirement party, it was not her wig party, it was my wedding. So may I please have what I want on my wedding day without my mother being upset at my decisions?"
Candiace said her mother's feelings about her half-brother haven't changed since her wedding. "We're not there, and we probably will never get there with the stuff with my brother. Her reaction is always semi-volatile when it comes up," she shared. "And now that it's out in this very public platform, I think it just sort of amplifies that for her, so my approach is to kind of back away and allow her the space. I'm over here, she's over there. See, I'm growing. This is growth — for me, at least."
Watching the drama surrounding his wedding invitation didn't faze Candiace's half-brother at all, she said. "My brother has seen the episodes, and he loves it. He was happy to be there. He was happy for me. He actually texted me recently and told me that he thinks he hugged my mom," Candiace said, adding that she doesn't know if that actually happened. "My brother had a good time. He loved the wedding. We haven't talked about how he feels about what was said, but he's also, he's a guy. He's not gonna cry about it, I don't think."
Fortunately, Dorothy's feelings haven't impacted Candiace's relationship with her half-brother at all. "I have not found that he feels so strongly about what happened with my mom that he's affected and it affects our relationship. I don't think it affects our relationship at all," Candiace said. "But I do kind of feel like maybe I should offer him an apology on her behalf, like especially now that everything is coming out. So that's maybe something that I do, just because that stuff was hard to watch, even now. I've seen it a million times, and it's still really hard to watch. So, such is life."
See more from Candiace's wedding, below.
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