Fredrik Eklund Says Goodbye to His Beloved Dog

After an extended sickness the 'MDLNY' star's pup passed on.

May 4, 2015, 1:33 PM ET

As Fredrik Eklund and husband Derek prepare to welcome a little girl, they unfortunately had to say goodbye to another member of their family. The top selling agent of NYC lost his dog, Mousey, over the weekend.

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The Million Dollar Listing New York star shared a photo of the ailing pup wrapped up in a blanket, chronicling the devastating scenario of her sickness.

Mousey is more sick than ever and Derek is trying to save her. I see his face lit up from the computer screen at night, googling for hours trying to find an answer. He wont give up. Any kind of answer will do, as we are desperate, as we will try anything, as the doctors and vets and everyone else have failed with their suggestions (and meds). She can't keep her food down, and I mean we tried all foods. Literally a little skeleton now. That's what's so heartbreaking, she is the same little girl I've slept with in my bed for 9 years, that pup I picked up the first day and named her Mousey, now a family member we have traveled the world with. We give her so much love and the more love we give the more love we want to give, but it's not helping I have come to understand. Perhaps love can only do so much in the end? She has been through so much for being so small. She is literally disappearing slowly. I think of death. And life. How it comes and goes. Is given and taken away, and what I can learn from that. How scared I am of letting go of the ones I love, but at the same time I think what I fear the most is not living fully, not to love the ones I love fully. To be loved fully. Am I? I ask myself if I gave her truly all in this short life of hers? When she was healthy, when I was running on the beach with her all those summers in Fire Island, was she fully alive, when I held her crying at the vet making sure she was ok, was I fully loving her with my heart, when she for the first time met Derek, was I fully prioritizing her? Then, I think - that's it, yes! - she is preparing us for Milla, could it be? Derek gets upset when I ask him if Mousey will give room for Milla and still stay with us but in a different shape and form, like in a different soul? Perhaps it's just wishful thinking. Anyway, I have to say goodbye now. She is so small. Her face is daunted and I know she wants to say goodbye. I'm crying now on a Sunday morning. And I look at Derek who didn't ask for this, or her, but is already the most amazing dad ever, as he will never let go, and never give up. And he asks me one last time "don't give up, we are going to try save her, Fredrik!"
A photo posted by Fredrik Eklund (@fredrikeklundny) on May 3, 2015 at 7:33am PDT

”That’s what’s so heartbreaking, she is the same little girl I’ve slept with in my bed for 9 years, that pup I picked up the first day and named her Mousey, now a family member we have traveled the world with,” he writes. “We give her so much love and the more love we give the more love we want to give, but it’s not helping I have come to understand. Perhaps love can only do so much in the end?”

It was difficult for Derek, who came into Fredrik’s life after Mousey did. “I look at Derek who didn’t ask for this, or her, but is already the most amazing dad ever, as he will never let go, and never give up,” he writes.

The pair already have a plan for memorializing their beloved pet. “They are saying we will get her ashes in 10 days, and Derek and I will go to Fire Island and spread it in the wind over the beach she loved so much,” he writes in another post. “So she can go back to the birds, waves and winds she always wanted to be a part of.”

”Anyone who’s ever known me knows how much I loved her. She was the kindest little dog, she never hurt anyone, never did anything wrong,” Fredrik says. “All she wanted was to be loved, and that she truly was by so many. She always will be.”

Late last night little Mousey died in my arms. She was surrounded by the people that loved her the most, and we came together in the hospital room and all kissed her at the same time in a circle. At the very end, she suddenly looked like a puppy again, and got completely still with what I think was an inner calm. She knew it was time. No more twitching, seizures, coughing or vomiting, she just looked at us calmly and said good bye. It started earlier that night when I had to leave the house to get out, to clear my mind. Derek held her as she kept vomiting, and I knew her organs were not functioning. She was shaking, and then on my way out the door she suddenly sat up and looked up towards the ceiling. The sun was shining in through our sheer curtains, and I swear it was the oddest thing as the rays hit her face and she looked straight into the sunlight. It was a sign, she looked so sick and so skinny and so sad, but bathed in light. I ran along Hudson River in the sunset, the most beautiful of all days, and of course, finally, started crying. The world seemed so illuminated with love. First I tried to keep it together and keep on running, but Sam Smith's song "Stay With Me" in my headphones didn't help. I sat down in the grass. Kids were playing all around and the parents recognized me, 'there is that guy from that show, by himself crying.' They are saying we will get her ashes in 10 days, and Derek and I will go to Fire Island and spread it in the wind over the beach she loved so much. So she can go back to the birds, waves and winds she always wanted to be a part of. The weirdest was probably coming home after the hospital. The apartment was so empty and dark. No more sunlight. So we lit a candle for her. Fritzy was so confused and looked for her everywhere. Then I saw her favorite little red sweater on the table. Her empty water bowl. Her basket. And then - it really hit me. She is finally gone. Everything was so quiet. Anyone who's ever known me knows how much I loved her. She was the kindest little dog, she never hurt anyone, never did anything wrong. All she wanted was to be loved, and that she truly was by so many. She always will be. RIP Mousey. â¤ï¸ð
A photo posted by Fredrik Eklund (@fredrikeklundny) on May 4, 2015 at 5:58am PDT