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Jeff Lewis Says New Boyfriend Scott Anderson "Was Ready to Pull the Plug" on Their Relationship
"We’re either going to fix this right now or it’s over," the Flipping Out designer said.
Jeff Lewis just went public with his new relationship with Scott Anderson, but things may already be on the rocks for him and his new boyfriend.
The Flipping Out designer shared during the September 3 episode of Radio Andy's Jeff Lewis Live that he and Scott had been fighting over the weekend and were not on speaking terms at the time of the recording, according to PEOPLE. Tensions were apparently at an all-time high when Jeff and Scott met to discuss what the Flipping Out dad called "a state of the union."
Jeff explained on his radio show that part of the conflict stemmed from his beau not spending enough time with him. “[Scott] has his own life, a busy life,” Jeff said. “I don’t feel he’s doing the best. I think he could do a little better at integrating our lives together.”
He and Scott had only been spending a few nights a week together, and only a few hours at a time at that, according to Jeff. “My assistant has a new relationship. I hear all about their weekends. They get up, they go hiking, they go to brunch — they do all these things together, which we don’t,” Jeff shared. “And I’m realizing, I’m lonely, I’m kind of lonely. I’m dating someone… and I’m lonely. But that’s kind of a lot for him. And that’s where we’re at.”
When Jeff brought up that he would like to be in a committed relationship with Scott, his boyfriend became even more distant. “I’m a relationship oriented person. I’m used to integrating my life with someone else. I just think we could move this along a little bit,” Jeff said. “I said to him, ‘I’m in a situation where we’re kind of a couple but I’m not ready to commit completely because there are issues here.’ I said, ‘My goal is to ultimately be exclusive but we have to work through these issues first.’ And I said it calmly, but now he’s retreated.”
At the time, Jeff wasn't so sure what the future held for him and Scott. “We’ve been together a little over 5 months. It’s either now or never,” he said. “We’re either going to fix this right now or it’s over.”
Later in the week during the September 5 episode of Jeff Lewis Live, Jeff assured his listeners that he and Scott had not broken up and were in the process of getting their relationship back on track. "We are talking. We are talking through, he's out of town right now, but we're gonna spend the weekend together," he explained. "We're gonna figure this out."
Jeff said that his longtime business associate and radio co-host Megan Weaver sharing that first photo of him and his boyfriend out together in public on Instagram on August 25 may have scared Scott a little. "I'll tell you what happened is that Megan had kind of outed us on Instagram and all of a sudden there were these stories, 'Oh, Jeff Lewis has a new boyfriend.' And I think that brought everything to a head because even though we'd been dating five-and-a-half months, and maybe this is all a good thing... it made it official," he said. "Now all of a sudden I have a boyfriend."
That forced the two of them to sit down and figure out what was really going on in their relationship before Scott may have been prepared for it. "So I said to him, I'm like, 'Look, we're in a situation now where it's been almost six months, what are we doing here? And if so, there's gonna have to be some changes because right now it was just light and casual and part-time,'" Jeff said. "'But now, if we're talking about a commitment and exclusivity, well, I need more than a part-time boyfriend.'"
Jeff added, "I think he says one thing like, 'I'm committed. I want a family.' But then his actions speak otherwise."
Part of the problem is that Jeff and Scott are also coming from different places in their love lives. Jeff broke up with his partner of 10 years, Gage Edward, in January, and the two have a 2 1/2-year-old daughter together, Monroe. However, Scott hasn't been in a long-term committed relationship for some time, according to Jeff.
"He has been single for 10 years, and he's dated people, he's dated a lot. Like three-month relationships, four-month relationships, two-month relationships, and you're not invested. You don't give a s--t. If something goes wrong, you're just like, 'I'm out,'" Jeff said. "And I think because we've been going so, so slow over a six-month period, we've developed really strong feelings for each other. So we both don't want to pull the plug. We don't want to pull the plug. But he is set in his ways. He's used to all kinds of space and independence. And I wouldn't say that I'm set in my ways."
Although Scott is also in the real estate business, Jeff said that his boyfriend doesn't like all of the people coming in-and-out of his house to work on the property. "And my kid loves the activity, but apparently my boyfriend does not. And he's saying, you know, he's like, 'I don't feel comfortable in your house. There's always people there. Like, people are in-and-out all day long,'" Jeff said. "And he says to me, he's like, 'Isn't there a day where we could just sleep in, and I could just pull the covers over my head?' And I thought to myself, 'No, there isn't! Because I have a baby. I have a baby that gets up at 7:30, which means I have to get up at 7, and I got to let the dogs out, and I got to feed the cats. I got to clean the cats. I've got to get the bottle ready. I got all kinds of s--t to do!'"
Jeff said that he is willing to work this out with Scott. "There's a compromise we could make," he shared. "I do need to compromise. I said, 'Look, if you want a lazy Sunday one morning with Monroe and you and I, well, OK, we could have people come in at noon.'"
Having so many people around all the time has also affected their sex life since Scott has expressed that he is not comfortable stealing moments to get intimate with Jeff while others are in the house. "I don't think Scott's really, he's not down with that program," Jeff said. "So there's a few issues that we got to work out."
Jeff noted that Scott "was ready to pull the plug" on their relationship earlier in the week. "That scared me a bit because when you're committed, you're in it and you work s--t out. But then I realized he could've just been mad at me for 24 hours because then he came back. He kind of came back around," he said. "So I think what I'm getting about him because we've only had one fight, we've only had one fight is that he needs 24 hours to be pissed at me."
A recent text message from Scott has also given Jeff some hope. "And he did send me an inappropriate picture last night, which I thought was a good sign. I was like, 'Oh, you're still into it,'" he said. "So that was a good sign."
Jeff previously opened up about pumping the brakes on his relationship with Scott, who he described as "a quiet guy from Portland, Oregon" and "really sweet," amid his custody battle with Gage. “I got a lot of personal problems right now,” Jeff said on his radio show in June. “This is a young, young relationship. We’re talking about three months. The last thing I want to do is burden him with my problems. I don’t want to sabotage this. I’m stepping back. There’s just too much going on right now.”
He also noted that he and Scott may not be on the same page in terms of what they're looking to get out of a relationship. “This is a guy who wants kids and a family and to get married,” Jeff said of Scott. “I told him that I don’t want to get married… and I also told him that I would never have another child with someone else. That’s not what you want to hear. You want to get married and you believe in the fairytale and you want to have kids together, and the guy you’re with says, ‘I’m never going to get married and the kids I have won’t be with you?' That could probably be a little bit of an issue.”
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