Lisa's "Monster-in-Law"
Lisa explains her relationship with Lenny's mother.
Hi everyone! I want to apologize for getting my blog up so late. I have had a rough few weeks. Many of you have asked the status of my sick dog, Puff. On November 20th 2012, Lenny and I lost our beloved son and boxer, Puff, to a brain tumor we discovered about a month before his death. We tried to give him radiation in hopes that he could live a good life with us for about a year or more. Unfortunately we did not see an improvement. He began to deteriorate and became unable to function. We had to make the decision to put him down. That was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do. Lenny and I held him as it was happening, and I looked into his eyes while kissing him until I felt him leave his body. Although we were devastated, we knew this was the humane thing to do.
I understand some who do not own pets find it hard to comprehend how the loss of a pet could be such a traumatic experience. I know those of you who cherish your pets as if they were your children understand the pain and sadness we are going through. Puff lived 8 incredibly happy years full of love and joy. He was a very special dog, who touched so many hearts along the way. Everyone who met him would agree that he was the sweetest, gentlest, smartest dog they had ever met. One of the things my friends remember about Puff is his ability to open doors and his need to spend the first night with any guest who stayed with us while kissing them to death. If anyone denied him access to their room, he would leave them a nice puddle of pee outside of their door to express his sadness. He was my shadow. He will remain in my heart and soul forever. I don't think I will ever get over him. R.I.P. Puffy Jr., one day we will met again.
In this episode everyone finally got to meet my monster-in-law! ...I mean mother-in-law! Kidding! She is not a monster, more like the mother from the Everybody Loves Raymond TV show, but with a Russian accent LOL.
I have been told that many mother-in-laws have a hard time accepting their daughter-in-laws. I guess mothers have a hard time letting go of their sons and accepting the new woman in their lives. Although I do not have a son yet, I can understand why it could be difficult. Especially if her daughter in law was a nightmare. I however am clearly not. I have always gone out of my way from day one to be sweet, kind, and accommodating to Marina, Lenny’s mother. I eventually got to a point where I realized my pushover attitude towards her was not getting me anywhere, so I took a different approach. While still being respectful, I have become more assertive and commanding of respect in my home. I am all for respecting your elders, especially your husband’s parents, but it must go both ways. I have realized the importance of boundaries not being overstepped. Marina can be tough, but underneath it all I think she is very sensitive.
Marina and Anatoly have a key to our home, because they visit often from Virginia. This is not something that bothers me. What does upset me is the way I am made to feel when comments are made about my cooking (or lack thereof), our lifestyle, the way our home is run, and the orders doled out to our staff. I could never imagine myself going to anyone’s home and telling them how to clean, cook, or decorate.
My husband agrees with me 100% on this, but some are just set in there ways and it is difficult to have them see things from your side. I do hope that we can one day have a real relationship where I do feel they genuinely love and accept me, especially for my husband’s sake. I do hope when we finally have children, that this may bond us and make us stronger as a family. We do have a long way to go. I do try to please them as best as I can, which is why I decided to host a Passover dinner in honor of them. I understand that Passover is an important Jewish holiday. I am pleased I had the opportunity to learn so much about Judaism. Many have asked why I did not convert. The answer is simply because my husband did not feel strongly about me doing so. He respects my religion as a Catholic, as I respect his, and he understands the importance of it to me. We plan to raise our children Jewish, but will educate them on both religions and plan to celebrate both Catholic and Jewish holidays. I’m sure the little ones will enjoy Hanukkah and Christmas gifts! I call it Chismukka!
I was pleasantly surprised that Marina got along well with the other mothers. I was uneasy about this especially with Elsa, because they both have such strong personalities. They turned out to have the most in common and were chit-chatting all evening.
During dinner I wanted to make a toast acknowledge that all of us, except Marysol, are immigrants. We all owe so much to this great country that has given us so much opportunity. I am proud to be Canadian but grateful to be part of the United States and call it home.
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