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The Daily Dish Vanderpump Rules

Scheana Shay Reveals the Moment That Changed Everything in Her Marriage to Mike Shay

"It was just one thing that I knew I would never fully be able to get over," the #PumpRules SURver said.

By Laura Rosenfeld
Scheana Shay Talks About Mike Shay's Texts to Another Girl

We've heard one shocking revelation after the next about Scheana Shay's relationship with Mike Shay this season of Vanderpump Rules. But one of the biggest bombshells of them all came during Part 3 of the reunion when Scheana revealed that she had once caught Shay exchanging inappropriate text messages with another woman. 

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Scheana opened up about that challenging time in her marriage during an interview with The Daily Dish prior to Part 3 of the reunion airing, saying that she had initially discovered the texts shortly before she and Shay celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary. Scheana explained that Shay's iPhone had broke, so he borrowed her sister's old phone to use until he could get a new one. But the iPhone was still synced to her sister's iCloud account. Scheana discovered the text exchange between Shay and another woman while looking at her sister's computer one day. 

Scheana said she began scrolling through the conversation, and it went back "weeks and weeks." "There were some very inappropriate things that were said," she told The Daily Dish. "He got a very nasty phone call from me immediately. I was screaming. I said I wanted a divorce. Once a week passed, we didn't speak, we didn't see each other."

After Scheana confronted Shay about the texts, she said he owned up to everything. "He didn't deny anything. The texts were there. I saw it plain as day. He said it was never anything physical. It never went anywhere. Supposedly, this girl was married, and so two wrongs made a right? She lived on the East Coast, and nothing was ever gonna happen," Scheana explained. "But whatever I wasn't giving him, she was, whether he was feeling more confident, I don't know. I was only able to scroll back a few weeks, and I know it was going on a few months." 

That was the moment that really changed everything in Scheana and Shay's marriage. "It was just one thing that I knew I would never fully be able to get over. I can forgive, but it changed our sex life, it changed our relationship, it broke trust. I just wasn't able to come back from that," Scheana said. "A year later, I was still putting on a fake smile and a happy face, and we took a second honeymoon, and it just never fully got back to where we were, as hard as I tried." 

Even though Scheana initially wanted to divorce Shay after the incident, she eventually decided to keep working on their marriage. "Then when I really thought about it, I'm like, 'No, we said vows. I took them very seriously, and that was for better or for worse.' So I felt like we would be able to work through it," she said. "So I even put some of the blame on me. I haven't been as good of a wife as I can be. I haven't been paying as much attention to you. I'm really caught up in filming [Vanderpump Rules] and my friendships or being in this magazine or being on this show or whatever."

Was Shay Sexting Another Girl While Married to Scheana?

But this was one part of her marriage that Scheana said she wasn't quite ready to share with the rest of the world. "At the time, I couldn't emotionally deal with that on camera. So I made the decision to talk about his addiction more than what was going on," Scheana said. "And he resented me for it, and I don't think he ever fully forgave me for throwing him under the bus. But he hurt me so bad that I just emotionally couldn't deal with when this airs having every Brandi [Glanville] fan and follower in the world be like, 'Karma. That's what you get,' because I just wasn't in a good place in my life to deal with that at the time." 

There, Scheana is referring to the time she came under fire for her past relationship with Brandi's ex-husband Eddie Cibrian. Scheana added that she only opened up about Shay's texting to a select few people at the time, including Ariana Madix and, later, Lisa Vanderpump. "But now, a year-and-a-half has passed, and I'm able to talk about it," Scheana said. "And I want people to know the full backstory of why we did divorce because I'm really sick of getting messages like, 'But he never did anything.' And I'm like, 'But you don't know what he did!' I also still wanted to protect him. I didn't want him to look bad. I didn't want to throw him under the bus again. I refuse to look bad in a situation where I was the victim. I'm not playing the victim, as Katie [Maloney-Schwartz] and Stassi [Schroeder] so often say I do, I really was, and I just felt that people should see that." 

Scheana said that she finally decided that divorce was the only option when she found out that Shay had allegedly been buying pills behind her back, but she was never able to forget about her husband's text conversation with another woman. "I still haven't gotten over this, so now that you're doing this on top of what you've already done, it's like trust was just broken time after time again, and all of it combined, I knew was a situation that I needed to get out of because I would never fully be able to move on from it, as much as I tried and wanted to, I couldn't get over it," Scheana said. "So do I want to live the rest of my life miserable with someone I don't trust completely, with someone I have to worry about taking this from me, or doing this behind my back?" 

Scheana and Shay announced their plans to divorce in late November 2016. The divorce is not yet final, Scheana shared during the Vanderpump Rules reunion. 

Scheana began dating her old friend, Robert Valletta, at the beginning of the year. Watch the SURver gush about her new man, below.

Scheana Shay Reveals How She Reconnected with Her Old Flame
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