'Vanderpump Rules' Stars as Dinos? You're Welcome
In honor of Jurassic World, find out what dino-SURs the staffers would be in the incredible world of Jurassic Pump.
In a world where the planet’s most terrifying and fascinating creatures have been brought back to life, Bravo brings you it’s own wildlife of Jurassic proportions. Prepare yourself to enter a land of exotic (party) animals, a place where drama, uh, finds a way. You’ll gape in awe at the beauty, fierceness, and sheer stamina—as far as shot taking goes—of these sexy, unique attractions. We present to you the dino-SURs.
Jurassic Pump is open.
1. Stassi Schroeder as a DilophoSURus
We all know Stassi likes her statement necklaces -- and what makes a bigger statement than the Dilophosaurus' neck piece? Plus, you never quite know what's going to come out of her mouth but chances are, it's deadly. Well, that or, "It's my birthday!"
2. Jax Taylor as a BrachioSURus
Jax Taylor—big, beautiful, and not always the brightest dino in the herd—is definitely a Brachiosaurus. Hundreds flock to admire his stunning good looks and let's talk about the muscle definition! Basically, we all look like Dr. Grant the first time he sees a real Brachiosaurus when we gaze upon Jax Taylor.
3. Scheana Marie as a Compsognathus
Compact, adorable, and full of bubbly life, Scheana is a perfectly petite Compsognathus. Also, we’re pretty sure these babies would rock a crop top.
4. Tom Schwartz as a Gallimimus
Much like his fellow Gallimimuses, Schwartz’s natural reaction is to flee, whether from his job behind the bar or from a T-Rex.
5. Katie Maloney as a Triceratops
This creature is a gentle herbivore but she definitely has an edge with those stylish horns. But be cautious—after a drink or two, she becomes Tequil-a-tops Katie, when those horns go from fashionable to functional. Just ask the Gallimimus.
6. Tom Sandoval as a StegoSURrus
Stegasaurus? More like a Tom Sandoval Swag-asaurus. This dino is clearly the rockstar of the group—with a slick built-in mohawk that would make even Tom's hair jealous and some extra pazazz on the tail. Just imagine all the swagger this dinosaur would have on stage. Plus, everyone knows the Stegasaurus is the crier of the dinos.
7. Ariana Madix as a Pterodactyl
Flying high above the drama, Ariana is as smart as she is beautiful. Which is smarter than anyone else she has ever met.
8. Kristen Doute as a Velociraptor
With her long elegant neck and calculating ways, Kristen is the epitome of a Velociraptor—not to mention people are terrified when she enters a kitchen. And the way she organized the Miami girl surprise attack? Clever girl is right.
9. Lisa Vanderpump as a TyrannoSURus Rex
Last, but certainly not least, we have the top of the Jurassic Pump food chain, Lisa Vanderpump. Fierce, flawless and ready to cut any fellow dino-SUR, she is the fabulous ruler of this world, darling. Don't you forget it.
And don't forget to tune in and tweet along with us to Jurassic Park on Bravo this Saturday June 6th at 8/7c to prepare for the epic Jurassic World premiere Friday June 12th!
