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Over the Rainbow

Judith tells us how Patti made her believe in love again. 

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I am endlessly amused by Patti Stanger. She is aggressive, opinionated, and a true believer. As in she truly believes in love. She convinced me of this when she appeared as a guest on my SIRIUS/XM radio show  months ago.

She told me that she could find a man who would be worthy of my love. When she told me this, I told her that I had retired, that I had had my fill, that love held no sway over me any longer. I had loved and lost and lost. And loved again. And lost again. I too had once foolishly believed in the whole fantasy and had spent the better part of my life swearing that I'd never fall in love again.

What do you get when you fall in love, you only get lies and pain and sorrow. How many times has that song played in my head? But I was firm in my resolve to never bother with the nonsense of relationships again, and I emphatically stated to Patti that I would never fall in love again. Oh no, not me! Never again! I had retired to the more comfortable world of lemon meringue pies and dark chocolate kisses.

When she same on my radio show, she dismissed my disinterest in men out of hand. She had no time for my stupidity. She, the "Millionaire Matchmaker," would find me a match! She was so focused and so almost innocent in her belief that this was possible, that I gave in. It's that simple. By her believing, I decided to believe.

And this was the moment I realized that Patti Stanger, the aggressive, sometimes rude, sometimes crude, sometimes difficult woman, was right. Patti Stanger is right because no matter what, no matter the heartache of her own life or mine or yours, no matter what we've been through, she believes that there is love and that love in the end triumphs over all.

It has been said that love is a grave mental disease, the greatest refreshment in life, the magician that pulls men out of his own hat, the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imaginable. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Love is the only gold.

Love is many things. To Patti, love is sex. Or she frames it that way. She thinks in terms of sex. She talks nonstop about sex. She wants people to have good sex. And she made it clear to me that she wanted me to have sex. (Thus the trip to the Sex Museum which was, no doubt, her suggestion!) Patti talks about love by talking about sex and money. She talks about sex and money because it is easier to talk about than love. There is this crazy idea that if you have money or beauty or fame you will have love.

Bette Midler once said on Oprah that she thought if she was famous and successful people would finally love her. What she realized when she got there is that they all hated her. Money (and sex and beauty And fame), as my song goes, can't buy me love. 

That is why I thought of Bruce. I asked for Bruce Vilanch because Bruce has been through so much in his life and is a shining example of love being triumphant. His mother gave him up at birth and many years later they found each other and discovered that love really is eternal.

Patti Stanger made me believe again that love is possible. That you find love in and create it in every moment of your life. That unexpected people in unexpected circumstances can connect. And no, it's not about the money or the sex or the fame. It's about creating the idea of it and then believing.

Patti Stanger took me for a minute into her balloon and we flew over the rainbow. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

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