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God Loves Boobies

Destin discusses which era of Jessica Simpon Steve needs and how much God loves boobies.

By Destin Pfaff

This week, our clients are Steve and Gary. Steve is a world-renown hypnotherapist, who made some mistakes early on in life.

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Gary is a motivational speaker who has a list a mile long (I want this, I want that, I want this, I want that blah blah blah). . .the most important of which is that they love God, and have big boobies. He's a decent looking chap that really just wants his own Jessica Simpson. Not mommy jeans-era Simpson, but apparently burping, 98 Degrees-loving, Chicken of the Sea-era Simpson.

Straight from the recruiting session to the mixer by the sea. . .

At the mixer we have a little bit of everything and a whole lot of something (boobies). There's a Renee Russo look-a-like, a comedienne, and even a virgin!

Gary starts off rocky with mini-dates that seem like he's either an interviewer for the Times or he's buying a car. Steve tries on his mini-dates. I'll give him credit for that.

Gary picks the boob-er-ific Jennifer and takes her out on a date where he gives her a pedicure and a facial. Nope, not creepy at all.

Steve picked Renee Russo -– I mean Sally –- and takes her surfing (he's not good), then to dinner and conversation connecting (she’s not good).

In the end, Gary and his date actually had a nice time and he even realized his shortcomings. He's checking his list twice, and maybe even considering crossing some things off (not God, not boobies). As for Steve, he's learned a lot too. It wasn't a match for him, but hopefully it helped him open his eyes to fix some mistakes of his past, so he can fix his life in love in the future.

Oh, and Jersey. . .sorry I said you sucked. Not really. No, I'm kidding. I am. No I'm not. . .OK, I am. Well. . .

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