Sowing My Oats

When you aren't born into money, having it can be quite problematic. For me, having money aroused feelings of uncertainty about who I was and why people chose to include me in their lives. Being wealthy in my early 30s certainly has its pluses: girls are easy and plentiful, invitations to parties and events are expected, but what about love? Love is a component of my life that I took for granted for years. I had the most amazing girl for almost five years and she walked. There was no putting Humpty Dumpty back together again -- she had made up her mind. What was her reasoning? One morning we woke up and I leaned over and said to her, "Let's get an agent and buy a house together." I knew I was neglecting her, and I thought this might be a good solution. She replied that she didn't love me and didn't want to be with me any longer. She explained that I didn't show her that I loved her, and, in turn, we became roommates, not lovers. I didn't fight for her. I just let go. I was devastated. When I lost my love, Christine, I was at a crossroads in my life -- something of an early mid-life crisis.

After having two failed long-term relationships in the past, I thought that I needed to go out and sow my oats and so I did. I did the online dating thing for over a year and took advantage of girls. I made rules: first date equals cocktails, second equals dinner, and third is dinner and sex. Anyone who didn't conform to that was never called again. For over a year, I manipulated women into sleeping with me, it was easy. I just told them what they wanted to hear and we were off to the bedroom; theirs, never mine (which made leaving after sex easier). Business was good.

After a year of not bringing girls home to meet the folks, I caved to pressure from friends and family who were disgusted by the way I was living my life. Karma is a mother, and they warned my actions would eventually backfire on me. I therefore came to Patti for guidance. I wasn't even open to possibility that I could love again, but I wanted to see if it was what I heard about her service was indeed true. It is. She really does see past the facade and hone in on what her clients need. I needed a woman who loved me for me, not the money, not the career. Sound trite? It's the truth. Her stable of girls is as diverse as they are amazing; enter Fahara. Since the show, she and I have continued to date. We travel together, dine at amazing restaurants, and have "shared" some interesting experiences. Though I'm not clairvoyant, I imagine that we will continue to enjoy each other's company, and for that I have Patti Stanger and The Millionaire Matchmaker to thank.

What you didn't see watching my episode is that I poured out my heart to Patti and Dr. Pat. I explained how I took Christine for granted and that I chose to focus on my own financial turmoil and once home, couldn't come to appreciate what I had: an amazingly beautiful, warm and giving fiancee who loved me unconditionally.

You the viewer will make your own determination on what you saw and who really is out for love -- who was genuine and who was as false as water. Throughout the making and filming of the show, I vacillated back and forth between who I wanted to be. In my casting tape, I tried my best to be my own hype man. During my background interview I tried to showcase my company, Commercial Finance and Leasing Bank of Cardiff (www.cflbc.com). At the mixer, I lost my confidence in Patti and decided to make the event entertaining (I said things to Patti's girls which would shock and awe a stripper; maybe even make them cry). In the end, I hope you'll remember that when it came to meeting Fahara, I cut the crap and treated her like a woman deserves to be treated. Had I done that with my ex, we might still be together. Guess, I'm learning.

Cheers!