Bravo Insider Exclusive!

Create a free profile to get unlimited access to exclusive videos, sweepstakes, and more!

Sign Up for Free to View

The L.A. Experience

Daniel gives us his comical take on Patti and netting a "Gossip Girl."

As a small-town Chicagoan, utilizing the services of The Millionaire Matchmaker meant leaving my comfort zone in more ways then one. As soon as I hung up the phone on Patti (she stayed on until I hung up first, a class-act move in case a client has any last minute questions), I threw together my personal night-bag and boarded upward for a lengthy puddlejump to "The City of the Sea"--of course I'm talking about America's glitter basin, Los Angeles, California.

How to Watch

Catch up on The Millionaire Matchmaker on the Bravo App.

Founded by Spaniards (?) in the late 1600s (??), Los Angeles is now better known as Hollywood, due to its continuous outpouring of Cinema's Top Hits. As soon as I stepped onto the tarmac, and that dry, brittle desert breeze rolled over my face like a scouring pad left on the hood of a toaster-oven, I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore, or at all, because it was a direct flight from Chicago ("The City of the Lake"). I was off on my first adventure.

After meeting Patti at Pink's Famous Hot Dog Store, she gave me my first batch of manliness advice: To get the Gossip Girl, you must first become the Gossip Boy. I was instructed to watch the first episode of Gossip Girl and pattern my behavior after smoldering sour-boy, Dan Humphrey (played by Paget Brewster). However, unable to secure a high-speed ethernet connection, I was forced to download the first episode off iTunes via the hotel's shared Wi-Fi. It arrived the next morning. I skipped around, jotting down the important parts and caking my hair flat with hand-saliva before knuckling down on my next homework assignment.

In order to become a more assertive male specimen, Patti strongly urged that I read Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew. Although supremely trusting of Patti's presumed decades (and decades) of experience, dredging up the advice of an Elizabethan-era psychological torture manual seemed kind of dodgy, so I took the easy route on her instructions just this once, and purchased a copy to carry with me to our mixer, quickly skimming an online synopsis before I left the hotel. When prompted for details, I bluffed ever so slightly, and focused on a single element of the story I had memorized—Prospero's altercation with Carlotta on the Moors. Once I dropped the reference to Prospero's wager with Mercutius, and she silently nodded, I knew I'd squeaked by, and silently promised myself I would read the remainder of the book (play) when I got back home (hotel room).

Later, on our date to the art gallery, one of the camera men backed into a statue, breaking it! It was the longest, purest silence I can remember being immersed in, and I'm from the Midwest. Note to editor: Did this part make it into the show? I remember that the statue was not as expensive as we thought it would be.

But what I'll remember most about my trip to Los Angeles, was stopping at Golden Apple Comics on Melrose and picking up the latest hardcover collection of Jonathan Hickman's Secret Warriors and the Cyclops One-Shot. As far as I'm concerned, Dean Haspiel can draw superheroes anytime he wants to.

Thanks again for the amazing experience, Patti! For amazing experiences and great Daily Deals in your city, subscribe to Groupon!


Want the latest Bravo updates? Text us for breaking news and more!
Sponsored Stories
Recommended by Zergnet