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The Virtues of Vaginas

Destin rounds up the #epicfails in this week's episode, from MardiGrasville and back.

By Destin Pfaff

I love Dr. Pat Allen. I do. There's nothing like a semi-truck bluntness from a feisty lil' lady. We'll get back to that.

How to Watch

Catch up on The Millionaire Matchmaker on the Bravo App.

This week we had the Jewish businessman who thinks he's a player (William) and the wounded Justin Timberlake from Mardi-Grasville (Brandon). William thinks he has game with the ladies. Problem is, if he has game -- he lost the instructions on how to play 'cuz he SUCKS at it. I don't care what he says. Buddy, you want the exotic-erotic type of Lucy Liu meets Eva Mendes, you better be able to spit poetry with every word that comes out of your mouth. #EPICFAIL.

Brandon is good-looking, suave, and charming, but his butt-hurtness over past relationships needs to be healed -- and ASAP! It's been too long pal, and life is too short! Time for a love intervention!

At the mixer, there were a solid collection of big booties, exotics, and Latin lovelies from LaLa. William had no game (surprise) and didn't listen to us the way he should have. Don't get me wrong. I like the guy and his heart seems to be in the right place, but stop trying to be a playboy. You're NOT. #EPICFAIL Just be the nice guy you are.

Brandon got over his issues and made us all proud.

Both boys picked the same girl (Jaclyn) -- who ultimately went with Brandon (shocker!). 'Second Fiddle Farrah' agreed to go out with William.

William started his date on a horse #EPICFAIL, but ended well with a nice dinner and kiss #REDEMPTION.

After Brandon slightly mis-stepped with a little crazy air surfing, he did the picnic and kiss date, which at that point ended up being charming, simple, and PERFECTO! You suave guy you.

Both guys ended up on top, as did we!

Oh, and back to Pat -- she is this episode's top winner for saying vagina at least once every time she visits us!


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