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Read Patti's full transcript after the jump:Mitch is a retired kicker and punter from the NFL. You know I love the NFL! He’s been on the road for so many years that he didn’t really have time to grow up and have an actual mature, evolved relationship. We call that the Peter Pan syndrome. He settled down in Vancouver, and now he’s ready for love, marriage, and lots of babies.
Joe is a VIP event producer in LA; he puts work before love, so he hasn’t been able to find the right girl. His mom was a single mom on welfare and worked her way all the way up the food chain and now she’s a judge. He uses that as inspiration for hard work, but he also comes off as very cocky -- a huge turn-off to all girls.
I met Mitch at Nicky’s in Venice. He’s a venture capitalist now and he works for Canadian ESPN on the radio. He’s dated girls who are gold-diggers, and too young (in the past). He’s now ready to change that, and find the right woman, his own age. I met Joe at Picnic, a great place in Playa del Rey. He’s much sweeter in person than on his video, although there are moments of cockiness there. He attracts all the wrong girls, and we’ll have to tame his cocky attitude if he expects to get the right girl.
I arranged for Mitch to meet a personal friend of mine, retired NBA player and broadcaster John Sally. John gives great advice to professional athletes about settling down and finding the right woman. He tells Mitch: don’t tell the girls at the mixer that you’re from the NFL; that only draws gold-diggers. For Mitch, I’m looking for Jessica Biel types who are open to starting a family, and for Joe I’m looking for hot Eva Mendes types, who have enough going on in their own lives.
Mitch and Bambi go horse-back riding; they have a blast. Afterwards, he cooks her dinner at a beach house, and it’s the first time anyone has ever cooked her dinner. They pop champagne and watch the dolphins play: how romantic! Joe and Melissa meet downtown at a loft on the 33rd floor of a building. Joe introduces her to an artist named Robert Vargas who teaches them how to draw with charcoal. They drink champagne while drawing each other. For dinner he takes her to a new restaurant, and they have a great conversation.
Mitch did great; he swept Bambi off her feet. Mitch and Bambi are in love: their relationship is in full bloom and has legs, thank God. Joe didn’t do so well; the date idea was great, but he didn’t kiss her! No real chemistry. Well, at least he knows what to do for the next time.