Patti on Man Children and Wounded Wallies

Read full transcript after the jump.So I’m watching the video, and I’m seeing Brian, who is a man child, a British man child, and he’s got a perfect little Mummy, and all he cares about is what she thinks. He’s obsessed about everything about him—he’s Arthur. That’s all he is. He’s 100% Peter Pan meets Arthur, they had a baby, it’s Brian.

Then I go meet Daniel Negreanu, who is a world-class poker player. He’s the sweetest guy; there’s just one problem: he’s kind of what we call a wounded Wally. Girls have broken his heart in the past, he doesn’t trust very well, so he really needs my help.

So I go to meet Brian at Killer Shrimp, my favorite restaurant in Marina Del Rey, and who does Bryan bring but Mummy? All he cares about is what his mother thinks. He’s in his 40s; this is so creepy. So I start to listen and play along, and then I find out Mummy wants someone that “nurtures” him? How about he “nurtures” the girl, for once?

Then I meet Daniel at the Viceroy. Well, great guy, sweet disposition, he’s just been hurt so badly. But I realize I need an expert. So I call in Christopher Renstrom who is my expert on pattiknows.com; he’s the astrologer there, to do a reading and to teach him at the mixer what girls to pick and what girls to stay away from based on astrology.

So I’m out recruiting, and I need an Anna Faris-type, who’s got great personality, down-to-earth; really can play in Daniel’s league. Then for Brian, I’m looking for a Jessica Alba type. So I’m at Avalon, where we had the mixer, and Daniel’s starting to talk too much, he’s upstaging the girls, so we took him to the side. Dustin gave him a little 411, and he realized that he was just nervous. We put him back in, and then, low and behold, he picked Lindsay, who is the perfect Anna Faris type.

All of the sudden, Brian turns out to be a gentleman. He had a great time at the mixer, he got his teeth whitened, he’s doing fabulous, and he picked Jady. Perfect girl for him. Daniel chose a fabulous date. He took Lindsay to his hometown of Vegas. They went to Cirque del Soleil, behind the scenes, which is great, and then he took her to a wonderful restaurant. I have a feeling that these guys are really going to hit it off.

So Brian’s taking Katie to his boat, Morningwood, to Catalina. But there’s just one problem: the engine fails then Jady gets sick. BUT he was really a gentleman, he took care of her; he even brought her a little light meal to help keep her food down, and I thought this date would go south. But it turns out, both people like each other so it’s great because Bryan took out his nurturing side to help Jady recover.

Turns out Brian really is a softie inside.

This is all good: both people this week, Bryan and Daniel, did fabulous in my Club. They both get A’s.