Rachel Federoff

Ep 2: Rachel admits to wearing track-suits, and is proud that she brought in the "good" client this time.

on Jan 17, 2013

HIP-HOP FRANKENSTIEN

Boy, oh boy, was this week a hoot! We had quite the pair of millionaires.

I however, this time, had the good one with my Hip-Hop Jew straight out of Queens, Steve Lobel. Now, I just have to state for the record that I too love Run DMC and Adidas and even I wore a track suit, but wall-to-wall, head-to-toe 24/7 Adidas? Oy vey yo!

Cutting to the chase, Steve picked the amazing Jessica, who let me tell you, is stunning and a sweetheart. The DJ and dinner date was not only fun, but romantic, showing that oh-so-cuddly-fuzzy side of “Tough Teddy.” The icing on the cake, or should I say the sugar on the stick, was when he brought out the industrial cotton candy machine and not only swirled tongues, but dessert!

Touching on Dr. Franken-creepen-stein, wow, I mean, just. . .wow. I’m throwing in an ew, ick, and I threw up a little too. I think Valerie wins the Millionaires Club award for being on the creepiest, dirtiest date in Millionaires Club history. Nothing says, “You might want to check out the basement” more than a bug-eyed plastic surgeon, ass cake, and a girl who has more plastic than a Tupperware party! Valerie is going to need some serious therapy from this.

Well, it was joyous week nonetheless, and at least Steve was triumphant. Dr. Alex von Gross-Me-Out, good luck to you, and stay classy.