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Vawn Wants to Know What the Ladies Want

Vawn thinks Tribble put words in his mouth, and that his honesty policy still stands.

By Jevon 'Vawn' Sims

Before I get into the episode I want take a quick poll. Ladies: Would you rather have a man tell you the truth from the very beginning, before you have had sex? The truth about what his feelings are for you, where he is mentally, and what you can expect from the relationship. Or would you rather have a man tell you he loves you; he wants a family, he wants to be married, and commitment is his number one value, and then you find out later it is all lies and he cheated with every woman he could. Which one would you want?

Most women don't value the truth until they are tired of being lied to. I've been the guy that lied and cheated a very long time ago. After I saw the tears and the pain I had caused, I decided I would never be that man again. A man does not need a woman first, he needs God first. Once he has a strong relationship with God, God will give him the strength to fight all the temptations of the world, and it still will be a challenge. There is nothing perfect but God himself.

Now on to what happened on this week's episode. I had a town hall meeting at the Buckhead Bottle Bar with men from all ages and ethnicity's talking candidly about how they, as men, really feel about women and relationships. I did this so I could give women the unique opportunity to be the so called "fly on the wall" and give them chance to hear what men really think. And I really wanted them to hear it just like this, raw with no filter. I feel like women need to hear things from a man's perspective especially if we are telling the truth, even if they don't like it. Women talk to their girl friends about their feelings and relationships. Men naturally keep it all in. I'm not saying this is all men, but a good majority of them.

It was crazy watching myself talk about things that were so controversial but knowing what was portrayed on the show was not the complete conversation. You didn't see all that I said, but I still love it.

Tribble put words in my mouth. He said I said "if your in a committed relationship it's OK to cheat." That is not what I said. What I said is: "if you are a single woman or man be honest about who you are and where you are in your season. Don't lie to a person and make them believe your committed to them and you know don't have the strength to do it".

You can't say you respect a woman and want to be in a committed relationship and then run around town doing what ever you want with whomever you want. That's just dumb, silly, and wrong. I will always give honesty first and sometimes it might not be the things you want to hear. But on the flip side, the day I do look into a woman's eyes and say I love you, your the one. She will never have to second guess if its real or fake. Some people use "I love you" like "Hello." What's really funny is Tribble is so busy trying his best to be the savior by contradicting everything all the other men are saying. This is the same guy who said on camera "I can have any woman I want." He says one thing, and then it's another story if you know what I mean. He is trying to be the knight in shining armor and that's funny.

It is very hard for a man to stay committed to one woman. In friendships it's that grey area that causes issues, it's all subjective. But you grow during friendships, learn more about each other. Different people have different things that hurt them and you can't control those small things when your learning. You will have ups and down. But what you can can control is not lying to a woman. They need to know your real intentions not the things your just telling her for your own personal gain. A lot of men sell dreams and lies. They lie to get sex, because you look good, for money, to tear your confidence down because they need your confidence to be confident. This is the truth and woman do it too.

This is the reason I wrote my book The Man U All Love, Need, Want and Hate. Pay attention to the words love, need, want, and hate because at some point we all have fallen into one of those categories. In my book a talk about my pain, insecurities, and my truth. Not all men, but the majority of men are scared to love like a woman loves. But they will never say it. So I decided to stand up and be a spokesperson for men. I will take all the heat and the strife because I really think women need to hear it. If you want to learn more visit:

Some of the men you saw at the town hall meeting are also featured in my book. This is TV, you cant get the whole story on TV. There only two women in the world to a man. A women that can hurt you and a woman that can't. And it's always safer for us to deal with the woman that cant. I've had my heart broken before and it did not feel good. It hurt, and I never wanted to ever feel like that again.The day that I do have a girlfriend or a wife she will be my queen. I will treat her like a queen everyday. I will supersede my own expectations. I want to feel like when I step into that relationship I can accomplish anything with that women. Will it be hard? Absolutely! But it is possible if I am mentally willing and ready to give everything I have. That's what makes women so beautiful. You have rubber band hearts, you can love hard, get hurt, recover and go back and love hard all over again. Everything starts with you. You are either a bad pick or a bad picker. You have figure out which one you are.

The Valentines day party was funny. I was already at the bar chilling with Gas when Alex came over. Alex is cool and I know she likes to flirt and I'll flirt back. But I don't know when to take her seriously. I feel like she will say the same things to any man.

Now what's really crazy is how everyone says that I am now Africa's man. Let me set the record straight. Africa and I are friends. At this point, we have only been on one date, ONE DATE. I don't understand how that makes us a couple. That being said if we came together, we are leaving together. It does not matter who is entertaining me at the moment or if someone else is entertaining her. We came in holding hands and we will leave holding hands. We are both confident in ourselves and know the relationship we have. Africa looked great that night! She was looking super sexy from across the room. She is definitely a beautiful woman.

I could not believe I heard Emily say that that my philosophy from the town hall meeting was dumb. She only got half of the story from Tribble, never once did she come and ask me what my philosophy really was. She had just told to her ex-boyfriend in the previous scene, "I am not in love with you. I don't want to be with you. But we can have sex from time to time when I'm drinking." Isn't that what I said in my town hall meeting? Be honest about your position form the start. Oh well, that's what happens when you draw conclusions with only half the facts.

Seeing Tribble on his "date" with his homeboy eating sushi was hilarious. He said he would never take advice from me because I wear shades all the time and look a certain way. You can't judge a book by its cover. I'm smart, I'm honest, and I'm learning by listening to everybody's story, man or woman. Even a homeless man can teach you something about love and life. People should open their mind's to listen to anyone's point of view instead of trying to attack everyone's point of view. You can definitely learn more by listening people instead of judging them before you know them.

P.S. Shout out to my boy Donte Barnes for killing the design of my book. I appreciate all your hard work brother.

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