Destiney on 'Saturday Night Live'
On Ariana Grande: "She's gonna end up doing a Proactiv commercial soon, watch."
On Chris Pratt: 'He lost a lot of money -- I mean weight! Did I say money? Why is money always on my mind?'
Kenya on 'Manzo'd with Children'
"She be parenting all over again with some grown ass folks. Damn, She did it from zero to 21 and now she’s gotta do it again now from damn near 30 to 50? Get on outta my house!"
The Resnicks on 'Saturday Night Live'
Rachel: "You know you're getting old when on Saturdays you'd rather watch TV with your sisters and your dad."
Joe: "This is how you know you're old — when you can barely stay awake for 'Saturday Night Live.'"
Blake and Scott on 'How to Get Away with Murder'
Emerson: "Viola Davis looks at you and you shrivel up!"
Blake: "It happened to me at the mall. . .no it did! I saw Viola Davis and I crumbled. I bowed to her like she was a god."
The Egbers on 'Dance Moms'
Andrew: "It’s starting, it’s starting, it’s starting!"
Jack: "You’re way too excited to be watching Dance Moms."
Andrew: "There’s not that many people who make me feel thinner watching TV. She’s one of them."
Julie: “Why does she have such anger issues?"
Jack:“Here we go. . .”
Sam: “She doesn’t have any sex.”
The Zenos on 'American Horror Story'
Lamont: "This was good, but I ain’t never going back to another carnival in my life."
Princella: "I don’t give a damn if the tickets is free, I ain’t going."
Lamont: "Especially if they free. Why do you want me to go to a freak show and they’re free? Oh no, that’s a set up."
Amanda and Kenya on 'The Real Apes of the Planet'
Amanda: "I have an ape video."
Kenya: "You have an ape video?"
Amanda: "Yeah, they’re doing it. They’re having an orgy."
Kenya: "Oh, stop it Amanda, I don’t believe you."
Amanda: "I'm dead serious."
Kenya: "Well you know what? They say monkeys are freaky."
Cathy and Destiney on 'The Blacklist'
Destiney: "I wonder how Red smells. Do you think he’s all cologne’d up?"
Cathy: "Oh my god, why don’t we just call him up and ask him?"
Destiney: "He probably smells like Yves Saint Laurent, that new man cologne. Oh, yeah."
The Egbers on 'The Biggest Loser'
Sam: "Is the winner called 'The Biggest Loser'?"
Andrew: "Yeah, it’s like the most fantastic title of a show ever. The Biggest "Loser", the loser in weight."
Sam: "Ohhh my god! I finally get it!"
Andrew: "You’re just now getting it?"
Princella on 'Face-off'
"If we was on Titanic, we woulda all lived because I’d of been in them people’s rooms, taking them women’s wigs and shaving off ya'll mustaches and ya'll would be some ugly women getting in the boat with me."
The Egbers on RHOA
Sam: "Why don’t we have a family thing like this?"
Jack: "What are you talking about?"
Julie: "What ARE you talking about?"
Sam: "Why don’t we have a family activity that we all do? Besides eat."
Andrew: "That is our activity."
The Zeno Family on 'Gotham'
Lamont: "Bruce Wayne used to always get on my nerves."
Lamont: "Cause he’s just like a creeper."
Princella: "That’s the point! He’s supposed to lurk in the darkness."
Amanda and Kenya on Matthew McConaughey
Kenya: "That vanilla bean right there!"
Amanda: "Hold on, I lost the feeling in my feet. That must mean he fine."
Kenya: "Oooh he fine, of course he’s fine! Damn he wake up fine!"
Egbers on Matthew McConaughey
Julie: "He’s the only guy ever, if I had the opportunity, I would consider cheating on dad with."
Andrew: "Oh, I was hoping you weren’t going to be going in that direction."
Julie: "Like it’s really gonna happen!"
The Zeno's on 'Jane the Virgin'
Rashawn: "She don’t look like the virgin-type."
Princella: "What do a virgin look like? Glasses and nerdy or somethin’?"
Princella: "Well, where are your glasses at?"
Cathy and Destiney on 'Shark Tank'
Destiney: "Wait people actually need a cookie safe? Is this what's happening in our world right now?"
Cathy: "No, it keeps the pressure in there so it doesn't --"
Destiney: "No! It’s a safe bitch! It's a f---ing safe!"
Teddi, Ayn and Sue on the Hollywood Film Awards
Ayn: "He just said the f-bomb."
Sue: "I've been there."
Teddi: "We do love foreign actors, don't we? They win all the awards. We don't have enough here, we have to import them from Australia,and England. . ."
Sue: "'Cause we need all of the ones here to be waiters and waitresses."
Julie and Brandy on 'State of Affairs'
Julie: " 'State of Affairs', I'm excited to see this show."
Brandy: "Me too! It’s Katherine Heigl and then is there anyone else in it at all?"
Julie: "It's just her, that’s what’s groundbreaking about the show."
Brandy: "It's just her, she plays every part, like Eddie Murphy in 'Nutty Professor'."