Can't Buy Me Love

Happy New Year!

I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday and are ready to make 2011 your best year ever. With that said, I am not going to do my to moments this week, because I really want to get right into show. I cannot stress enough to you guys that when you are watching a scene on the show, you are only seeing a snippet of what is usually a three hour shoot. There is so much that is said that never makes the show. You can't try a case fairly without all the facts.

So here we go! Peter and I have a relationship session with my friend for many years, Hill Harper. Hill is a well known actor and talented author. Some of you may know him from the hit show CSI and a number of movies. His book 'Conversations' made the New York Times Best Seller List, and it was very insightful. If you are in a relationship, I highly recommend it. I think that most people will agree that the number one thing that can put stress on a relationship is finances. Peter and I have been together for about three years now, and most of our financial issues began with Uptown and the recession. It felt like as soon as the restaurant opened up, BAM, the next day the US was in a recession. Peter and I met when he was building Uptown, and he was putting every dime he had into the restaurant. I loved his vision and believed in his dream. I knew that I wanted to be with this man, and I loved having his back. He was smart, ambitious, strong, handsome, and very sexy. The grumpy old man you guys have seen for the past couple of episodes is not the man I fell in love with. I do not like the tone Peter uses when he gets upset, nor do I like him using curse words. But I guess he is keeping it real, and we already have a enough fake people on the show. I have to say that after seeing himself on the show, he has had the opportunity to see what a jack-ass he looks like, and he does not like it. We have discussed this, and he is working on it. There is just so much about both of us that you guys don't get to see. So many layers that never get peeled to show you the core. All I can say is I would never be in a relationship with anyone that did not make me happy. Nor would I put my child in an unhappy situation. I love Peter, but my child and I will always come first.

For the first year of our relationship, I was still living in NYC and was still working every day as a model. I have had a very successful modeling career for the past 25 years, and I have been financially independent my whole life. I could have never imagined that I would ever not have money. All of my friends and the people I surrounded myself with were smart, ambitious, and very successful. We were doing the damn thing! Period. Fast forward to the recession. "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." I was extremely humbled by the recession. I no longer take anything for granted, and I am grateful for what I have. Everything, big and small. A very smart friend told me once that money does not make you happy. I did not believe him, but it was true. When I was making more money than I knew what to do with, I was empty. Something was missing. I was comfortable, but I was not truly happy. You can always make money, but you can't always find love. I love Peter, and I know that he loves me. He is not perfect (neither am I), but God put him in my life for a reason. I believe in God and never question his will. If I had not met Peter, I would have never ended up moving to Atlanta, becoming a housewife, and writing this blog. I feel in my heart that every choice I have made in my life has led me to this very moment. I know that I am in this position for a reason, one much bigger than the show.

I know this blog is all over the place, but I wanted to give you guys something more this week. Things start to get very emotional and very personal as we get closer to the wedding. So I might write anything at this point. I already have a lot going on this year with work, and we are getting ready to shoot the reunion show. I really do appreciate all the love and support you guys give me. This is really not as easy as it looks. So I will end it there.

Love, 

Cynthia Bailey

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