Meet Miss Cindi B.

The great thing about an opinion is that everybody has one. I know I do, and so does my alter ego Miss Cindi B. Last week I told you all about me, but I neglected to tell you about the evolution of Miss Cindi B. While filming the show as a first time "housewife," I sometimes found myself in situations that were very uncomfortable for me to deal with. Enter Miss Cindi B.! She stepped right in and pulled me through. The funny thing is, I think that she has always been there, but lately she can't seem to stay out of the spotlight. It's not that she’s mean-spirited; she just tells it like it is. Looking back on my first blog, I think you got your first taste of her then. Going forward, I thought it only appropriate that she be properly introduced. We might be holding peaches, but everything isn't always "peaches and cream!"

So where was I? Yes, Episode 3. I enjoyed talking to my sister about my issues with getting married. Malorie and I are very close. She is one of few that I can talk to about anything. It is really important to me that you guys understand this whole wedding/engagement thing. My mom has been married twice in her life, and in both of those relationships she endured physical and mental abuse. Unfortunately, Mal and I were there to witness some of those painful episodes. We were between the ages 5-17 years old. It killed me to see my mother being mistreated. I vowed that I would never be in her shoes. Being the oldest, I think I took it worse than Mal did and always tried to protect her. She doesn't seem to remember some of the things that I can't seem to forget. It is pretty clear from the episode that she has emotionally blocked out most of those childhood memories. I just remember feeling so helpless and confused as to why my mother could not free herself of abuse. We have since talked about it, since I am grown, and now I understand. It still upsets deeply, but I do now understand. However, my mother's abuse did have a lifelong affect on how I view men and my relationships with them. I was afraid to trust and always felt safer alone and living by my own rules. This attitude made me incredibly independent, but left me also very empty. It took me a long time to realize how much my past still affects me. There are no words to describe how much I love and adore my mother. After all, there is nothing like a mother's love. It still makes me extremely sad to know how much my mother went through to protect and shelter us. What a price to have paid. I love you, mom.

I know that I am jumping all over the place, but I do have some other comments on the show. Things that made me giggle:

Sheree thanking Dwight in English, Spanish, and French for helping her with her show.

Nene and her son washing Playa's butt with the water hose. 

My sister Mal calling me out about her pay as my assistant.

Kandi singing backup for Kim at the White Party. Shouldn't that be the other way around? Stop it Miss Cindi B! Well, I'm just sayin...

Kim asking if that crazy looking bathroom in the desert was a dog house. So funny, but I think I would have had to hold it.

Kim's youngest daughter doing that little funny growl thingy. She is so cute, love her.

Kim yelling at Sweetie and telling her to shut up. How much does Sweetie get paid again?

Fresh bacon or processed foods? Hmm, I'm going to leave this one alone. 

Kisses, 

Cynthia Bailey